a touch of sweetness^^

that bag of uncertainties

2012-02-24T12:20:00.004+08:00

don't dwell on what could have been, you're not doing yourself any favours.

one thing i hate most about is uncertainties.

uncertain about what is going to happen next, uncertain about what i want in future, uncertain about results, uncertain about my next phase of life.

uncertain about everything, from the biggest thing to the slightest thing and this uncertainty really drives me crazy at times.

at times like this, i just can't help but doubt myself :(

and yes, another week down, i seems to be blogging on a weekly basis now.

one more week left to the freaking A levels results.

i am feeling the anxiety, fear and not much of excitement from the people around me.

often been thinking since the start of jc, where will my results lead me?

i really wanna do something that i like, something that i have passion for.

afterall, life is so short, i just want to try to fulfill my dreams and ambitions cause ten years down the road, i can look back and said i have try and leave no room for regrets.

sometimes, seeing people with so much drive and passion for life just amazes me so much, cause i know i have never ever feel this way before.

maybe it's cause i hadn't really been doing things that i like, and i always end up listening to other people's opinions.

and at times like this, i can't help but think, is it my life or theirs, why can't i have that little courage to pursue what i really want and like.

perhaps it's due to my cowardice which make me think twice about everything, or perhaps it's just reality that defeats me, cause i know how hard it is to survive in reality.

for now, i just really want to gain back that drive and determination towards life, facing up to all the ups and downs with optimism and be thankful for whatever happens.

i really hope i can do that :)

afterall, life is about living your life.

last weekend @ ernest's crib:

took so many pictures and we all agree it's the best out of the three :)

met the usual gang at ernest's crib last weekend.

just slacked around and play cards, had been so long since we all feel so relaxed and lazy.

like spending quality time with loved ones, even if it's just lazing around and doing nothing ^^

shall let it be a short post :)

rather lazy to update, had been kinda tired recently.

trying to get myself psyched for the weekend~

it's gonna be a long weekend, fun one i hope too! :)

enjoy your weekends guys, till then! :D

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAR FECILIA GF IN ADVANCE!<3

i will stay strong, for you<3

staying optimistic

2012-02-17T21:57:00.008+08:00

isn't it funny how day by day, nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different.

another week down once again.

losing track of time as days past, time is racing too fast ahead somehow.

as time flys past, we are getting nearer and nearer to the release of the A levels results which is predicted to be out on the 2 march, two weeks from now.

A levels had been thrown into the back of my mind since last year november right after it ends, i hadn't really gave it much thought since then until recently, i got reminded by friends cause of their tweets and facebook status.

it make me realise how soon i have to face up to the judgement day and decide on my next phase of life, which i am currently not prepared for yet :(

shall take one step at a time then.

valentine's day is over, just a few days before.

i had a really lovely valentine's day this year, spending it with the silly boy and my clickies :)

thanks to that boy who agree to meet my clickies on a special day like this, cause i know you don't want to make me in a difficult position, you wouldn't know how much i appreciate it :)

but the earlier part of the day was spent with just him <3

simple and sweet, thanks for everything^^

met the clickies gang around late evening for picnic at marina barrage and star-gazing :)

it's really absurd to have a picnic at night cause we realised it's all dark and we cannot see a thing, and with the wind so strong, we practically can't do much except to just sit down, feel our food and eat and just admire the night scenery!

but night scenery is always beautiful, it gives us a very peaceful and relaxing feel which i esp like :)

some pictures of the day:

my face look so red :O

can't believe it, i just drink like close to half a bottle of BREEZER, which is like 4.8% of alcohol only and the end result is, my face started burning and turned red, and the floating feeling came to me :(

this sucks ttm, why i so not immune to alcohol sia, i seriously don't get why i so lousy :(

goshhh, the alcohol content is so little and it can have such a big impact on me!

need to really start learning how to drink :P

(nice picture btw, love the effect and feel )

hehe, kin of like this picture, like cool only^^

neat hair and looking good picture at first :)

and then the wind start messing everything up :O

but we still smile for the camera :)

hi silly boy! <3

and the flashlights start flashing.

but we still love each other<3

ladies of the night :D

trying to keep our hair in place :)

why your hair no messy like mine? :(

hair not in place, if not this will be a super nice pic! :(

and that's how i spend my valentine day.

it's really heartwarming to see couples everywhere on this special day, i feel so loved and happy for them.

and to all those singles out there, don't despair, what's yours will be yours, cause everyone deserve happiness :)

but still, i gotta agree, guys don't need valentine day to treat your girls right, do it everyday! :)

and i think i am just awesome, i help fecilia upload her photos in her cammie by borrowing her memory card.

and guessed what, she got 700+ photos not uploaded and i helped her upload all already.

just pure awesome, but the thing is, i haven't upload all to facebook, cause it's rather weird, some photos are with her friends and mum, it will be kinda weird for me to upload? :S

some overdue photos:

wait for this photo until neck long already, and finally it came! :)

this picture too long le lah, cannot rmb when we took this!

natural~ i think my pose quite nice hor :P

lazy to upload all, all the photos is up on facebook already :)

had been working my ass off for the past few days! :S

cause had been kinda short of staff recently :(

booooo, working four days next week, thankfully it's not full shifts all the way, can die man :(

i hope receiving my pay next month can make me smile.

minimum timing for a month is 80 hours and just the second week i already hit 61 hours!!

but work is somehow getting more and more all right which is a good thing i suppose.

i guessed staying positive and not dreading it does helps :)

and the shop staff selling crepes treated my colleague and i to crepes today, it was damm nice!

and one crepe cost like about $7.80?!!!!!

such a nice person, must patronize the shop next time :)

my legs are tired, and i don't want muscles, omggggg.

all right, being random, off to rest now :)

have a good weekend people! :)

meeting my boy and the clickies tmrw! :)

i feel loved, thankful for everything in my life <3

stay strong and walk through

2012-02-10T21:18:00.011+08:00

on days when you beat yourself up over any regrets, always remember that life isn't about all the mistakes you make, it's about what you learn while you're picking yourself back up from them.

i got to strongly emphasize that time is passing way too fast this year.

its almost mid february next week.

frankly speaking, i can't apprenhend what have i been doing with all my time.

work doesn't really take up every minute of my life and before i know it, the days just passed by like that.

i guessed i finally understand why people always say, after you hit 20, time will just zoom by.

yiling's mini birthday celebration :

had a failed mini surprise for my dearest sis on her birthday <3

and i got to apologise cause it was rather messy and disorganised, and know what, even on the day itself, there was no proper plan even at 6pm?!

so everything was sort of impromptu, and we just go along with whatever comes into our mind and hence our plans keep changing and changing.

the only lucky thing was that we got her present beforehand already :)

however, like what i say, just thinking about the intention behind all this is enough to make one feel heartwarming and i hope my dearest sis appreciate all our cards :)

another year of birthday celebrations with my dearest guidesmates :)

thinking about the past few years together make me feel so glad and thankful like never before :)

i think i am really thankful for my yiling sis and mummy verity for being a part of my life.

as i recalled back how they were there for me for the past few years, i am filled with so much emotions, especially during last year and of course the silly boy! :)

last year had been the toughest period of my entire life.

i remember i struggled through the whole year, family problems( inconvenient to disclose here), friendship problems, quarrels with the silly boy( but still loving him as always<3), my academic results and studies.

many many times i feel like giving up, struggling through the sleepless nights not knowing what to do.

being at home during that period of time makes me feels as suffocated as i were in school, struggling with my studies.

some nights, i remember crying myself to sleep, making myself so tired for school the next day.

i couldn't talk to my sis or parents, i felt that they would not understand and i didn't want to add on to more problems that were at hand.

in and out, i try so hard to balance my life but it sucks so bad, and during that period of time, i finally understand what it means to have the world crashing down on you all at once :/

i still vividly remember the helplessness i feel, the so familiar feeling and the not knowing who to turn to at that point in time, cause everyone was so busy with their lives, nobody will stop for you.

but thinking back, i was glad i made it through the year and turn out much stronger than before :)

and for that i really got to thank the silly boy for being there for me, my whining and moodswings must have driven you crazy for quite some time, but nevertheless, thanks for accepting this side of me<3 no more unnecessary quarrels please :)

and yiling and verity, i remember yiling accompanying me through the late nights, being there for me, and verity fighting alongside with me, encouraging me at times where i feel that everything was too much to handle.

they could easily sense my change in mood and i never had to hide anything in front of them, i could relate everything so easily in front of them and though sometimes they don't know how to help me solve my problems, they offered the best listening ears anyone can ever offer.

perhaps they know what i have been going through, that's why i find it so easy to talk to them, thinking back, i wonder how they can have so much patience with me at all, cause i think i was rather irritating back then! HAHA.

but whatever it is, i really wanna thank all of them for being with me through the darkest period of my life, they have help me embrace my problems in a positive way and turn me into the stronger person i once thought i was incapable of becoming :)

I LOVE YOU GUYS!<3

sorry for being overly emotional in this post, watching some sad scenes in shows make me think so much, and i guessed this will be a platform for me to vent, not that many people will really keep updated with my blog anyway.

sometimes, i think i am weird in my own way.

flipping through some of my SRGCE@ cambodia trip photos bring back so much memories :)

it was a trip i never regretted going at all and i very much want to go on another one :)

though it was really tough and the living conditions were bad, it was satisfying to know that you can help and do so much for the kids, and bring joy to them :)

simple toys like balls, that we all take for granted can make the kids so happy, and they will all just cling onto you to play together.

i will never ever forget the smiles on their faces when we play and piggy-back them around, cause for once, they feel that they have our attention, they feel like they are being respected and loved.

and i really wanna do something for kids like them all over the world;

i supposed many people will say i am day-dreaming or maybe having immature ambitions, i have talk to some friends about this and all they did was to laugh at me saying it wouldn't work out.

i know it's really quite ridiculous to have this sort of thinking but somehow, i just wanna do a bit, and put in some efforts for those kids :)

cause i know the sense of satisfaction i get when i put a smile on their faces is priceless, this trip have really make me mature quite a lot and all i can say is i have learnt really valuable lessons in this trip which i know will be useful in the years to come and in the future :)

and sometimes, it really irks me to see how spoilt singaporeans kids are, including me :(

where have all my simple-mindedness and contentment with life derived from this trip disappear to?!!!!!

but thinking back, it's really hard to apply the same values in singapore cause every country operates differently, especially for a competitive society like singapore.

dammm, if i were given another chance, i would definitely sign up for CIP trips like this again :)

damm i really don't know what trigger the emotions in me today :(

well, i hope it's only temporary then.

always remember, there are people out there who are fighting to survive, be contented with you life :)

watching a bit of scarlet heart on tv just now make me think of the ending again, dammmm;

is it just me, or why is it that the shows i watch recently are all so sad!? :/

still listening to my fav song everyday :)

hehe, seeing the song video make me feel so much better^^

btw, the silly boy met me after work today as well :)

as usual, we caught a movie-underworld awakening, it's about a war between vampires and werewolves and humans?!

was rather confused throughout the show, and only understand more at the end, i really don't get why people rate this 4 stars out of 5?!!!!

valentine's day is just 4 days away, hehe

not really expecting much, just want to spend a simple day out with my silly boy, take leave because of us leh :)

our second valentine together<3

hope everyone will have a good valentine, it's a day of spreading love, be it with family, friends or your other half :)

i know my last part of the post is so random, actually this post started pretty off well hur, with the swing of emotions HAHA

oh well, it's better than emo-ing all the way, hope my readers are feeling more lighthearted now :)

enjoy your weekends! :)

your assurance means everything to me!<3

步步惊心

2012-02-05T17:07:00.003+08:00

dieeeeeeeeeee, totally addicted to this song.

this song had been ringing in my mind for almost every waking moment.

i love how this couple in the show are able to portray the happy and blissful look in this video.

it make me feel so happy unknowingly for them even knowing that the sad ending in the show is just a show afterall and that it is just a part of history a few hundred years ago, but still, i really don't like the ending and this video help me retain those happy moments of them together which deep in my heart, i hope it had been this way :)

but i am glad that they once had something so beautiful between them, so sure of their feelings towards each other, it was good while it lasted :)

i kinda hate how much this show impacted me.

i refuse to be reminded of the sad moments in this show, so many heart-wrenching decisions that have to be make, so many sacrifices involved.

i really hope that good and happy endings will happen everywhere, even in reality and not just in shows :(

whatever it is, i hope that every couple in the world will stay true to themselves and their other half and not end up like the show's ending, even on the brink of death, still waiting for the other party's understanding and a chance to forgive themselves.

thinking of it makes me wna cry :(

love is a beautiful thing and i hope nobody ever destroy this kind of beautiful cause it's true that true love doesn't comes by easy.

好一段让人羡慕的刻苦铭心的爱情，我投降了 :(

四爷万岁 :D

wondering when will this craze last. oh wellz :)

living life my way

2012-02-04T21:47:00.002+08:00

Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

laziness is getting to me, had been really lazy to update recently, or perhaps maybe i was too caught up in my own world :)

apologies for the lack of content post.

life had been rather mundane but i prefer it this way.

i rather wake up everything with nothing to worry about and just slack my life away, for once, i don't have to worry about getting ready for school, facing all the stress, coping with all the work and worrying about tests and exams.

i rather live in my small little world with all the people i love around me than having to wake up and face all sorts of hypocrites and fake people, leaving me so drained out at the end of the day :(

the only bad thing now is work, i am getting kinda tired of work, it is rather boring and every working day, i will just countdown to the end of work to keep me going :)

still for now, i prefer work to school, like seriously :)

back to school, kinda heard that results will be out predictably on the 2 march :(

it's like almost less than one month to the big day, the judgement day which determines my next phase of life.

come to think of it, it had been really long since i last thought about A levels.

whatever it is, i know i will take whatever comes my way, no doubt i will be really disappointed and sad if my results are bad, but i know i will just learn to accept it and take it easy.

afterall life indeed goes on, i guessed i need to start being mentally prepared :)

long overdue x'mas 2011 with clickies :

act cute #1

virgin singing trip with the gang! :>

cny visiting with the guidesmates :

the juniors bought a cake for yiling that day as well.

and btw, it was my dearest sis's yiling birthday yesterday! :>

surprise planned for her failed kinda terribly, it was rather disorganised and messy but i hoped she enjoyed it nevertheless :)

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY <3

scarlet heart, the show i am so obessed about recently!!!!!!! :>

this show had been so impactful on me!!!!

i love how the people in the past works with their relationships, they go all the way for the people the truly love :)

though it's kinda saddening that women in the past have such miserable lives, and having to share their husbands with so many other wives, it touches me to see how their generiousity and love overcame everything :)

i broke down at the end upon seeing the ending, upon seeing that the couple who were so in love with each other end up hating each other and not having the opportunity to make their feelings known for the last time :(

really hate sad endings :(

all in all, this show is really captivating with its swing of emotions and had been captivated throughout the whole 35 episodes :)

4th prince ftw! :D

another week down, time seems to be passing way too fast this year.

i just don't really want to grow up yet :(

till the next update~

i want to be the reason behind your smile<3

just another chinese new year

2012-01-25T11:26:00.011+08:00

we always look at our scars as ugly marks, but sometimes let's try to consider them as nice things. as symbols that something painful in the past had been healed.

HAPPY DRAGON YEAR! :)

as usual, it just seems like any other chinese new year, going for reunion dinner, house visiting, the cycle repeats itself every year.

but with every passing year, the excitement for chinese new year decreases and this year, i don't even feel excited for it, and it went past just like that.

for once, i wished chinese new year was celebrated differently, i kind of wish it was more interesting and exciting, no doubt reunion dinner and house visiting are the usual traditions but i was just hoping that perhaps my family and i could just spare some time out, to maybe visit chinatown or sentosa to indulge in the atmosphere of chinese new year.

but every year, my parents just use chinese new year as a chance to catch up on their rest, replenish their sleeping time.

i dont see anything wrong with them, i understand that they are tired, but somehow, i just want a more outgoing and active celebration, afterall, its only a once in a year event ):

on a lighter note, i esp cherish the once-in-a-year gathering with cousins and relatives.

it made me realise how gradually we have all grown, adapting to our different phases of lives as each year passed.

i guessed this is what family warmth is all about :>

random pic:

hehe the boy love this pic, his current wallpaper! :D

on second look, this pic is really nice^^

some pictures taken during chinese new year:

my sis<3

credits to my sis^^

cousins for life :)

chinese new year's eve.

#6-attempt to act cute fail big time.

it's funny how the habit of cam-whoring haven't die down deep within me, but it's different for my sis.

she's getting more and more reluctant to cam-whore, afraid of what others might think.

oh wellz, actually, i ain't really bothered by how others look at me, but i guessed sometimes, it's no longer a matter of whether you care or not, it's just how society operates.

my mentality of-living for the moment got to change.

need to start acting like a responsible adult :)

shopping @ town and dinner with the usual gang :

the rare double rainbow, did you guys catch it as well? :)

ed's stupid faceee

our twinnies bands :)

had been a long time since i joined the girls for shopping^^

actually, it's not really because i don't like to shop, it's just i don't want to splurge unneccessary and now even not, esp after working and knowing how hard-earned every cent is.

so i would just pamper myself once in a blue moon, cause i know from now on, i got to depend on myself for most of my spendings ):

still, always had fun with my dereast clickies and hanging out with them is always that awesome :)<3

speaking of work, i had officially began working ysterday.

it's the training period for me right now, and man, working is tiring ):

just one day, one shift is enough to kill me.

my legs, back and neck was aching after work ysterday, making me so spoilt cause i haven't been standing for such long hours, now i know how my mum feels while working.

and at this point in time, i wonder why i didn't want an admin job where i can get to sit down in air-con room to do my work, it's so irony ):

but thinking back, at least i don't have any weekend shifts and the shop closes at 730pm everyday, it isn't considered that bad** constantly trying to psyco myself.

last day of work for this week tmrw, i will and must endure the full shift^^

time, please also pass faster tmrw :)

and the boy came to find me after work today<3

we caught "jack&jill" and the show isn't as bad as we thought, wonder why people rate it 1.5 stars?

house visiting this weekend with friends! :)

finally a short gateaway from work, hehe something to look forward to!

hopefully my shift for next week wouldn't be that bad!

cheerios, enjoy your weekend people! :)

a part of me will always be with you!<3

imperfection is beautiful

2012-01-21T11:15:00.004+08:00

perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing. remind ourselves it's okay not to be perfect.-

GAWD.

had been feeling rather lazy to update. and once again, the weekend is here which implies that chinese new year is here also.

it's the chinese new year eve tmrw already :)

somehow, i feel the chinese new year atmosphere but i am just not really excited for it.

i just hope this chinese new year will be a good one.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE^^

and one good news, i am finally employed, employed to BOOST :)

will be undergoing training next week and speaking of the training, the shifts are major madness :(

afternoon shift for first day all the way till night at vivo and i have morning shift at raffles the next day followed by a full shift at raffles the following day :(

BOOOOOOOOO, but at least i get paid during training and the good news is i do not have to work for any weekends and i get to learn how to make smoothies, so i guessed it's not that bad? :)

i can do this, time to train myself^^

ALL THE WAY TO ME :D

swimming trip with my girls and the boy :D

and finally, for the first time ever, i finally went swimming with my girls and the boy :D

it was so fun and i was so glad we went :)

we went to the sengkang swimming complex as shown in the picture, $1.50 for the whole day of fun at the swimming pool, so worth it, but sadly we only stayed for a few hours :(

tried to overcome my barrier of learning how to breathe in water, i hate how i always panick once i go unde rwater :(

but the boy say i made a great improvement at the end of the day, at least i can stay longer in the pool now already :) yay me!^^

thanks for being so patient with me, and making me feel so safe<3

i love how we can still feel so at ease with each other when swimming, not afraid of how we look :)

and the slides are major fun too, whoooooop, just that the friction cause a bit of pain ):

all in all, first swimming date was awesomez shit, can't wait for the next one with them^^

but the only sad thing is, we forget to take pictures for our virgin swimming trip, dangs :(

had been helping to spring clean the house a bit, and it resulted in my muscles aching, wtsssss.

hate how unfit i am now seriously.

i hope i will get a bit excited for the chinese new year, afterall it's a once in a year event :)

can't wait to go house visiting with the boy and friends^^

seldom get to spend chinese new year with friends, hopefully i can this year since i am only committed to a job and not school, hehe

anyway, plans for today, heading to town with my girlfriends.

had been so long since we girls hang out, hope it will be a great day :)

off to prepare, have a good week everyone! :D

let's travel the world together someday, just you and me<3

simple things in life

2012-01-15T20:46:00.007+08:00

I believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you can learn to let go. things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they are right. you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

the end of another weekend, bringing us another week closer to the chinese new year.

it's exactly one week left to the chinese new year.

i don't know why i am so ain't looking forward to chinese new year this year, perhaps it's the extremely short holidays this year, or maybe it's that i know for me, chinese new year is gonna be a little bit different in my house this year and i am not sure what to expect. whatever it is, i hope it will be a good one, afterall, it's only once a year occasion :)

had been a bit lazy to update recently.

it's true that one indeed gets lazier if they slack and rest too much, i am a real-life example.

it's so hard to wake up early, even at 9am plus in the morning, i really wonder how i woke up at 6plus for school for the past few years.

it's weird how one adapt to those bad habits at a alarming fast rate :O

the past week had been a rather normal week, with an awesome weekend with my dear clickies to end it off! :)

i remembered going to the gym with the boy :>

it was a rather epic one, cause the gym was rather crowded and i didn't expect the crowd on a weekday during lunchtime.

and i didn't really know how to use some of the machines and was hence held back.

kinda looked like a joke as everyone there looked so professional into wanting to have a good work out.

but anyway, conclusion is, my stamina is really shitttt now, giddy spells once again after a bit of gymingggg :(

what is this! need to be more determined in training up! :)

and went for interview for boost juice bars.

i was totally shocked cause i didn't expect the boss to be a eurasian.

i was so confidently thinking, a person name JACK will be a chinese, i was so wrongggg.

but one thing about eurasians, they are uber friendly and nice, but hate it when i can't speaks english well, i was nearly stuttering and a bit afraid to speak more :(

anyway, my induction test will be on tuesday at raffles place.

if all goes well and i passed the induction, i will be able to start work ^^

all the best to myself :)

impromptu stayover with clickies @ mindy's crib for the weekend :

during christmas'2011.

which makes me realise, felicia still haven't bloody upload the christmas pictures but oh well, i know she's busy so it will take some time^^

these pictures are not taken at the stayover, it's past events.

which makes me realise, we didn't take any pictures for the first time ever in the stayover :(

it was supposingly only a dinner @ mindy's crib.

her parents invited us over for dinner and really, her parents are super nice, only one day and i can totally see that they treat her like a princess :)

and adding on, her parents are super sweet to each other as well, not afraid of being too lovey-dovey and so expressive towards each other.

i feel so sweet for them, such a wonderful family they are :)

back to the dinner, it was great, food that everyone will like :)

and adding on, breakfast this morning was sumptuous, her parents bought lots of food for us and we even had to play guessing game to finish the food cause we were all very bloated!

hahaha a pity the boy wasn't with me :P

so yeahhhh, after dinner, we lazed around and played with milo, played mahjong for a while and in which after, everyone was super lazy to travel home and hence, the impromptu stayover takes place :>

presenting to you milo^^

milo was our companion for the stayover, we keep playing with him and i swear he was damm hyper during our stay.

perhaps he was curious as in why there are so many people fussing over him, and waiting to play with him :)

and i sweared milo like us a lot as well, hehe, he keep waking up after short naps to play with us, even in the middle of the night when he should be sleeping soundly.

but i was afraid for a moment that he will feels uncomfortable cause all of us were like touching him and carrying him up and down. ROFL.

but he looked so sad when we left this afternooon awww :(

shall visit the cute little milo soon :)

all in all, it had been an awesome sleepover, first time everyone is present^^

love all my dear clickies so muchh <3

@random thoughts

seeing the loving family, i feel so happy for them from the bottom of my heart.

somehow, i wished my parents were more expressive like that instead of being so inflexible, thinking that they are already of a certain age, what for be so mushy and stuff.

but sometimes, i feel that actions are never limited by age, it's just a simple gesture to put a smile on to the other person's face :)

maybe swimming date with the boy tmrw, that is if my mum allows :( cross fingers that she agrees hopefully^^

have a great week everybody :)

so contented and happy by those close and dear to me right now. i don't want to lose this feeling and i won't let anything take this stability away. i hope that those whom i hold dear in my heart are genuinely happy too :)

loveyou boy!<3

this is how life works

2012-01-08T11:20:00.009+08:00

don't force anything to happen. let every piece fall into its place as it should, on its own. don't try rushing anything, because if it's meant to be, it will happen eventually. you might just end up ruining something by rushing it or trying to force it to happen. let things happen naturally and you'll notice how much more happier you will be when they happen unexpectedly.

life had been pretty relaxing so far i guessed.

waking up with nothing to worry about does feels pretty good.

the only thing to worry about is jobs and money, am still bloody jobless cause those resumes filled in and interviews i went to, none replied so far.

kinda pissed and frustrated, i am just looking for a part-time job, what's so hard about it?!!

i don't want be convinced into working full time ):

there are still so much stuff i want to do, but all these need money ):

i have yet to learn swimming and cyclinggggggg, stupid boy still owe me one swimming trip, and i want to learn some skills, pick up something new! ):

so much thing i want to try before i start entering those working life.

youth has its deadline too and i really want to have a memorable teenage life :)

@ timbre with my vball babes<3

amanda! :) know her for 3 years, sp sua! :D

vball girls unite :D

qianwei! :D

my familyz in vball! :D

all fine and demure ladies, looking good girls! :D

just a cup of old school and there was instant effect, my whole face turned hot and red :(

and the drink wasn't alcohol heavy also, urghs, need to learn how to start drinking like seriously.

huiting! :D

my most unique pose of all as quoted :D ROFL.

kangting! :D

meet-up with my vball girls had been great.

i like how all of us can still talk and gossiped like old times, reminiscing those good old times.

ohhman, how much i missed those training times ):

it's great to see that everyone is still pretty much the same and we are still as tight as ever.

never regretted joining vball, it was one of my best part of my jc life, meeting this group of awesumz people<3

heart them all, catch up soon, chalet and sentosa trip as promised!^^

and my stamina is deproving like shitttt :(

went for a run with my sister yesterday and man, giddy spells after 4 rounds around the track, that's not even 2km!!!!!!!!

i used to run 13km in school, wtsss, determined to get my stamina back! :)

came across something on tumblr:

-don't tell me that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, because in this society it isn't. no one gives you a chance to see if you're beautiful on the inside if you aren't on the outside.-

how absolutely true, when did society become so judgemental, even on looks.

but sadly, so many people around us are the culprits.

ask yourself, will you have give an "ugly" person a second glance if you are walking on the streets.

just what's the definition of ugly? i used to think of ugly as having a bad personality, no inner beauty wise.

but somehow, society changed my viewpoint, it teaches me that looks indeed can get you somewhere.

i especially hate it when guys criticize girls on their looks.

i mean come on, grow up guys, you have no right to comment on a girl's looks, and before judging, please take a look in the mirror.

i hate it when guys think that "ugly" girls can be put down, it's infuriating.

i truly think that every girls are pretty in their own ways and that the happiest girls are the prettiest girls! :>

so to all girls out there, stop comparing yourself with others and stop letting yourself be put down :)

believe in yourself and that self-confidence and a smile on your face can just make you look and feel good! :)

still trying to learn this too, i hate my low self-esteeem ):

going out for some shopping with mum later, love relaxing sundays like this :>

and going for another bloody interview as well tomorrow, please just give me a job ):

and hopefully will be able to meet that boy tmrw :>

enjoy your last day of this weekend and endure people, chinese new year break is coming! :>

you always make me smile, so effortlessly:)

figuring out the rest of my life

2012-01-06T11:06:00.006+08:00

just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. do what you have to do, for you.

it's scary how fast time passed as you grow up.

and before i know it, it's friday today already.

one week into the new year, it's kinda scary how just one year down the road, i will have forgotten what happened today.

have been doing some random thinking these few days and i came across a question that keep me pondering.

" is it people that change, or our perception of them that changes? "

to most of the people, they will have agree that people changes, but they never fail to see that they too judge each other based on their actions thus changing their perceptions as well.

over the years, i experienced too many changes.

people come and go, and they change into the person i never expected.

and i have long taken all these as part of a cycle of life, i never blame anyone or anything for the changes and perhaps hurt inflicted.

to some of the people, they themselves may not have been able to detect the changes in them as well.

and what right do i have to comment on the changes when i think that i myself have change in some ways as well?

for the better or for the worst, i don't know and i can't really be bothered as well.

i have wasted too much time figuring them out.

so what if one really changes, does it mean that they have to change themselves to fit other people?

that's so pointless, life isn't about changing yourself to fit others.

and people who cared and really mind will understand and accept you for who you really are :)

such a simple logic, yet i took so long to get it.

yes, i have lost some people along the way and indeed it hurts, esp some important friends.

but i have gain and learnt along the way as well, and i know if it's meant to be, it will be.

maybe some people just don't fit into your life.

but nevertheless, i am super thankful for the people that are in my life right now :D

my mum and sis! :D

i super heart them! :D

they never look into the schedule when i needed their company, even when i requested something so unreasonable at times :(

for the amount of times they were there for me, i lost count :)

i still remember how sis is always able to detect my change of tone in twitter and immediately dropping me a text to ask me what happened, i still remember how sis woke up at 6 plus on her school off day just to accompany me for my job when she could have sleep in as she was feeling unwell.

i remember how my mum always accompany me to search for the things i need and always thinking of me as well, i remember how we always think of each other, not leaving the other party out :) though things aren't really going well for her right now, i know my dearest mum can make it through! having absolute faith in her! :D

sometimes, i feel so ashamed of myself for not doing as much as compared to what they have done for me :(

but all in all, i really am super thankful for them :)

appreciating the little things :>

my silly boy, don't feel jealous okay, you are still irreplaceable <3

enough of the heavy-heartedness.

something to look forward to today, dinner with the vball girls @ timbre! :D

am kinda looking forward to catching up with them, we haven't had a proper outing since like we stepped down and it's january now?!?!

but sadly, not all can make it :(

looking through those photos just make me reminisce on those training days and the sweat and muscle aches and how we all walked through together.

these memories are so pricelss and i will never trade them for anything else in the world :)

i will never forget those intense moments during the competition, how we cheered each other on and how the coach and team members believe in each other :)

i am glad i was part of SRVB :D

time to train my stamina and of course, time to play some vball, will never let the skills i learnt go to waste.

feel that my post today is a rather heavy-hearted one :(

HAHAHA, perhaps is the stir of emotions cause currently listening to some sad songs :(

oh welll, plans for this weekend: meeting the boy tmrw, hehe, the 16th tmrw**<3 and shopping date with mum on sunday, had been so long since i went out with my mum, guilty :(

and it's around 2 more weeks to chinese new year!!!!!!!!!!!!

gawd, super fast, can't wait to wear new clothes, gamble and receive red packets :D

life's good if you focus more on the little and happy things :>

missing my stupid boy :)

into 2012 :)

2012-01-02T13:44:00.015+08:00

chapter 2012, and we are now opening page 2 of 365. i hope you all start writing your journey new and fresh :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! :D
time flies, and before i know it, it's already the second day of 2012.
i feel so relieved that 2011 had finally ended.
though it hasn't been an easy year, it was a fulfilling year, three words to sum it up: lived and learnt.
am so glad that it's now all over, am feeling tired.

am kinda looking forward to 2012 as i embrace on a new phase of my life.
no longer a teenager, am 20 this year :<
i hope i am ready to face and accept change and all the tasks and challenges thrown to me.
and i got to stop caring about people's opinions and views of me, it's time to start living for myself :>
i will just keep on going and pick myself up no matter what-resolution for 2012! :)
cheerios to 2012, let's have a good start and awesome year everyone! :D

gonna be a post filled with lots of pictures^^

countdown @ marina with clickies :D

presenting to you mindy's dog-MILO! :)

it's funny how fears got the better of people.
i still remember how clickies used to be so afraid of dogs, but now we all love milo so much! :D
at first, was still contemplating whether to carry milo, but i guessed everyone can overcome their phobia and bring out a little courage! :)
cuddling milo in my arms makes me feel like having a dog, it feels comforting to have a dog, knowing that in your darkest moments, it can make you smile and cheer you up! :)
one of my new goals in my life!^^
hope to visit milo soon! :)

clickies at countdown! :D

my girls<3

love this firework, doesn't it look like a heart shape^^

hehehe the boy! <3

as usual, countdown and stayover with clickies had been awesome :>
hate how time always passed so fast with them, and forever feeling like there's not enough time together.
and first time that boy joined me for stayover, awesome much.
and first time we didn't sleep for the whole night, so bloody proud of ourselves.
hoping that clickies stay as tight as ever in the coming years :D
can't wait for next stayover with them, loving them to bits and pieces^^

Mum's advanced bdae celebration! :D

i think my mum's bdae date is unique, falling on new year's day.
she has everyone celebrating it for her :D
wishing she will be in the pink of health and can enjoy life in all the years to come! :)
happy birthday mum once again! <3

sisters unite**

niece was rather restless that day, tried so hard to take a picture with her and she ain't really co-operating! :<
best picture taken! :)

random outing with girls, job hunting! :D

zi lian #1

zilian #2

zilian #3

<3 my girls^^
nobody want their head to look big, so noble me sacrificing to be the one at the front of the picture! :)

zilian #4

it's funny how good friends can pms and get irritated with one other without making each other mad :>
i guessed that's the meaning of good friends :D
still currently bloody jobless :< i want part-time jobs but so many shops i went for interview with want full-time.
and being a stubborn kid, i still am refusing to change my stand of working part-time, i want to have a choice in my life! :>

guides catch-up @korean bbq :D

geraldine! :)

jessica! :D a rare guest indeed, had been so long since i last since her! looking great girl! :)

yayz, missing those guiding times with them! :D

it's heartwarming to know that after a few years, guidesmates still share a tight bond.
as we meet and reminisce on those guiding memories, it always bring back joy and laughter :D
glad to meet this bunch of wonderful people! <3

i know 2012 will be a better year than 2011 :)

and it's just less than 3 weeks to the chinese new year.
gawdddddddddddd, time to shop for new year clothes :D
it had been a long post, shall stop here for now.
till the next update~

you make me smile so easily :)

it's another year, goodbye 2011 :)

2011-12-30T22:45:00.005+08:00

life is a gift. never take it for granted :)

and finally;
it's the last day of 2011 tomorrow! :D
can't believe how fast this week flew past.
and we are back to the magical fireworks, crowds of people out there, and hanging out with your loved ones as we embrace a brand new year.

i hope everyone out there had make great plans to party their last day of 2011 away! :)
and i definitely hoped that all of the people out there will be spending it with their beloved ones :)

as usual, i will be meeting my special bunch of clickies to countdown.
(sorrry i couldn't join my girls tomorrow :(, but still have fun! and we will meet if fated! )
as usual, one year with my dear clickies had passed, at every countdown, i always feel extremely thankful for this bunch of people in my life.
it made me smile to look back and see that we have walked through life with each other for another year, though there may be ups and downs, but i am glad at the end of everything, we will always have each other to count on.
i am glad that our friendship never did once drifted throughout the years but grow stronger! :)
loveyouguys, my dear clickies, let's welcome the new year and may it be an awesumz year for all of us.
and HAPPY ADVANCED NEW YEAR TO FELICIA GF!<3 hope you are enjoying yourself as well! :)

finally caught up with the guidesmates on wednesday^^
was glad to see everyone after so long :)

photos will be up when uploaded.
thankful for all the awesumz guiding memories <3

and caught sherlock homes free of charge thanks to that boy's free movie ticket! :D
i guessed i am really not suited for movies like this, i fall asleep for freaking two times during the movie! i remember myself falling asleep during the first movie as well.
ROFL.
anyway, second new year with the boy<3
hehe, thankful for him! :)

i gonna start year 2012 on a good note and erase all the unhappy memories of this year! :)
and god bless all the awesumz people in my life, those who were always there and never left, and those who stayed^^
HEART YOU ALL TTM :D
i prayed 2012 will be a fantastic year.
HAPPY ADVANCED NEW YEAR TO ALL, ENJOY! :D
and most importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST MUM! <3

the best understanding of our differences<3

all i want for christmas

2011-12-26T11:29:00.009+08:00

much unhappiness results from our inability to remember the nice things that happen to us.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! :D

i hoped christmas had been great for everyone out there.
since young, i always imagine myself spending a white christmas, in a place where it snows.
i have always wanted a unique and special christmas celebration with all my loved ones cause to me, christmas is a season of peace, joy and love.
someday, just someday i will do that :)

though my christmas was just another ordinary day, but it was a heartwarming one cause i spent it my my clickies love! :D
though it didn't really started out well, and we took almost one hour plus to plan yet again, but i guessed it ended well! :)
we party-ed our day away at party world ktv and sang to our hearts content!
it was the very first time singing with them and i guessed we all enjoyed ourselves! :D
a pity the time was too short and the x'mas present we gotton at the end of the day was sore throats due to our loud and high singing session :D
and after which we went to slack at ernest's house, great day spent with them! :)

presenting to you the clickies:

i really loved the bonds i have with this bunch of people :>
they always never fail to make my day, even if it's just doing simple stuff like slacking at one's house, we will always have so much fun together.
and finally, we have make plans for the new year which is like 5 days away, zomg, time flies.
i hoped it succeed, but a pity felicia wouldn't be joining us, hope she have fun in taiwan as well, but we welcome mindy yee back! :D
i hoped that everyone will be present for the next few years! :)
and like any other years, i got to rush in between cause new year is my mum's birthday, so i ain't sure what will be the arrangement as well.
shall see how it goes :>

can't believe that 2011 is ending in 5 days time!
time really flies, but i am kinda looking forward to the new year as i bade 2011 goodbye.
it had been a bad year, at least to me, so oh well, let's welcome the new year with open arms as we start it with new hope, new goals and news dreams! :)
enjoy the last few days everyone! :D

my super ultra cute niece :D

she loves to make weird faces like me! :)

:D

nice shot! :)

hope to see my niece soon! :>
such a cutie pie!^^

oh well, i forsee a rather busy week next week.
shall update when i have the time.
i gonna spend my last few days of the year nicely and end it on a good note! :)
ta-da, till the next update!~

i just want a happily-ever-after for us :)

my revolution

2011-12-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.

photo gallery of meetup with grace! :D

#1

#2
weird taste i have, i actually love taking twisted faces of myself cause i think it looks cute! :> and i thought every girl will want to look pretty with their faces. ROFL.

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7
i don't know since when, i start to camwhore more and more of myself.
gawd, maybe i am gradually falling in love with myself! :P
HAHAHA. or maybe it's just cause it's a girl's habit?
oh well, if the photos turned out nice, i guessed it does add on to one's self-confidence as well, so why not :)

sometimes, i really envy those pretty girls that i see.
deep in my heart, i wished i was a teeny weeny bit like that, so that whenever i go, i can have envious glances and stares at me, i bet that will be a very good feeling.
but the irony is i hate attention.
as usual, i am contradicting myself here.
the most exasperating thing is some girls have looks, brain and character.
pfffft, hate those close to perfect girls cause i am nowhere near the word perfect!
urghs, oh well, suck it up, life is unfair sometimes.

GRACE! :D 7 years and counting

a beautiful night all thanks to the wonderful place! :)

hehe love myself here^^

love myself here too^^

aww, nice :)

looking bit different here, just don't know what's the difference.

love this picture! :D

ROFL!

COOL effect.
at times like this, i yearn for a iphone, look what fabulous applications iphone provide!
hmm, working towards the goal of earning money to buy what i want.
gogogo :)

polaroid feel~

ripple effect.

smiling and posing in the snow, like a cool only :)

so those pictures above looked so nice right.
i guessed the reason why people love taking photos is when a few years down the road, as they look through the photos, they can reminisce on the memories and remember the good old times :)

a usual saturday spent at my aunt's house today :)
played with my niece the whole day.

can't believe how active kids are :)
and it just make me more attracted to kids! :>
communicating and playing with them can just make me feel so satisfying :)
i want to be in a world surrounded with kids in future! :P

and ahhhhh, i hate it when people especially my mum had the misconception of me.
she saw my pierced ear and there she goes, saying that i am an ah lian now and blah blah blah.
the good thing is i no longer have to hide but the bad thing is, she nag and nag at me non-stop.
seriously, i don't see the big deal of piercing more ear holes, a few ear holes doesn't make one an "ahlian"!
this is such a huge generalisation=.=
sometimes, i wished my mum can be a bit more flexible and open to the teens' minds.

home and feeling more sick than ever. pfffft
gawd, i always always fall sick at the super wrong timing :/
please just let me recover soon, i don't want to be sick when the festive seasons are just round the corner and it's the holidaysssssssssss!!
get well soon to myself! :)

and in another life, i would still make you stay
it's us against the world :)

the fun, laughter and happiness in december! :D

2011-12-16T13:40:00.003+08:00

Do not just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life.I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if our mind is full of tensions. Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoons kept in your month. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health & relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. One thing about nurturing spark – don’t take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 25,00 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s okay, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, Enjoy with your friends, fall in love, little fights with your loved ones. We’re people, not programmed devices. Do not be serious, be sincere.-Chetan Bhagat

HELLOZ EARTHLINGS! :)
december had been rather good to me so far.
no wonder people always look forward to december cause it's truely a month of joy, laughter and love as one slow down their pace in life and enjoy the little things in life with their loved ones :)
i guessed the people around me made december so much better for me! :D

this post is gna be filled with pictures and pictures! with some kinda overdue pictures! :)

my 19th birthday a few months ago! :D

my fav girlfriends! <3

this silly boy planned a surprise celebration with my clickies, a pity your lying skills kinda sucks but still thankful for all that you have done :D
sometimes, i think i am a lucky girl.
i have an awesumz life with awesumz people around me, making me feel so loved, especially on my birthday! <3
i always wonder what i will do without them! :<
though life isn't smooth-sailing exactly, but i guessed you need some obstacles ans setbacks here and there to become a stronger person :)
what matters most is those people who were there with you through it all, but still, turning 20 next year, kinda mixed emotions as i embark on a new phase of my life! :)

my birthday cake, doesn't looked cheapppp! :)

polaroids of the day, heart all of them! <3

shoppping and dinner date with my girlfriends! :D

we looked so young in these pictures! :>

it's funny how a few years down the road, as we grow older, some habits just never change.
my girlfriends are still as indecisive as ever when it comes to shopping, spending 45 mins deciding on a pair of short! ROFL.
well, i guessed this is what makes people different from each other, all the small little details :>

@ hotel stayover with the clickies gang! :D

<3

new ear piercinggggg, i still look like a good girl right! :)

anticipating for a stayover with mindy soon! :>

at the hotel, taking last few shots before checking out! :>

sometimes i wonder why is indecisive-ness such a common trait in the clickies gang!
we can plan to stayover in a hotel and changed our plan on the very day itself before sticking back to the same plan at the last minute! :>
but the thing is, it will always turn out to be awesumzz with the great company of each other! :)
it had been a great day @ the hotel stayover! :)
we catch up on each other lives, shared secrets, pour out our woes and listened to each other's inner feelings.
it just feels so at ease and comfortable knowing that nobody will judge but yet accept each other for who we are.
am really thankful for friends like this, and i never ever want to lose this bunch of great
people! :>
epic moments at the hotel where we all get so lazy to bathe, snatching the pillows for own use, refusing to share the blanket,(imagine squeezing under the blanket for 5 people's use ), squeezing on the small bed, fighting for space and so difficult to toss and turn, eating macs at 5plus in the morning :>
all these bits and pieces make up for the great night and though it doesn't really sound fantastic, but i had the most wonderful and heartwarming night with my dearest clickies, heart them all! <3
i guessed there will be more meetups to come in the remaining holidays! :)

caught out with grace yesterday like after so long.
it had been a day of laughter and joy and we all talked non-stop due to the amount of things to catch up on after one long year.
will blog more about it when she upload all the pictures! :D

can't believe how fast time flies, it's CHRISTMAS next week already! :D
for the first time in my life, i have the christmas feel in singapore.
and if you want some of it, go to clarke quay at night, i bet you guys wouldn't regret it.
and yeah, the jobs are still quit a headache;
siging in application forms one after another, replying to advertisements one after and another, sending resume, it's so tiringg.
and yet now, i am still jobless-.-
but i know it will get better, perhaps i should just start working in january since december is almost coming to an end! :)
shall just enjoy the rest of december! :)
hope everyone will have a good time in december full of laughter and happiness! :D
cheeerios.

halfway into day 3, 3 more days to your return!
can't wait<3
always a part of you indefinitely^^

living my childhood dreams

2011-12-07T23:01:00.006+08:00

People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head — the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.

sometimes, i think that it ain't easy being a teengaer at all.
maybe it's isn't easy to be a teenager nowadays, living up to the society's expectations can really kill.
a few months before, i was worrying and stressing over my studies, studying day and night to fight the A lvls.
and after a few months, after the A lvls, i was still worrying and stressing.
but this time round, i was stressing over the issue of jobs and money.
i hate it, i hate the fact that i have to weigh and consider everytime i spent, i hate that after agreeing to every outing, i have to scrimp and save to make sure i have enough to sustain for the next outing.
i hate the fact that earning money has to play such an important role in my life.
i hate that i can't be like other teenagers, going after branded stuff and not have to worry about the money for their next phase of education.
i hate that all my life, my time is spent worrying, thinking about stuff which most teenagers don't have to give a damm about.
how i envy them, why ain't i one of them?
i hate being trapped in this vicious cycle.

heading down to raffles place for a job interview tomorrow.
frankly speaking, about working life, i fear.
i am afraid of the problems that i have to face out in the world, i feel unprepared for it.
i am afraid that i can't endure all the shit that has to be faced.
i am afraid that i can't survive through all the conflicts and unreasonable customers that comes my way.
i am afraid of depending on myself cause i don't feel independent enough yet.
and realisation hit me today.
i am turning 20 next year.
but know what, i am not a teeny weeny bit ready for adulthood.
i am just not ready to face and accept all the responsibilites that is thrown on me.

my girls^^

outing with my girls for the past two days.
had a great time catching up on the good old times.
love times when friends like them make me feel so at ease and so comfortable :>
and caught apple of your eye a second time.
no doubt it was an impactful movie, it hit me so hard again after watching it.
kuddos to the director and write himself! :>

i don't know what's wrong with me, feeling all weird today, like i ain't myself.
mind filled with blank thoughts!!
and it's weird how much more tired i feel during the holidays than school days.
i need to start exercising, need to regain my stamina.
and something is really weird with me, my hands feel so weak today.
whatthehell is wrong with me seriously?!?! urghs.

meeting my dear clickies this weekend.
hope it's going to be enjoyable :)
have to control my spending though, until i start working officially.
money, can you please drop from the sky.
i guessed i need to go back to cambodia, to strengthen my mindset on life.
what happened to being more contented with life and putting aside materialism.
but it's just so hard when people around you are living so comfortably and you can't help but feel so unfair and developing a sense of resentment towards life.
urghs, *CAST THOUGHTS* aside.
post filled with so much angst today :/

now playing: 倒帶

我受夠了等待你所謂的安排　說的未來到底多久才來
總是要來不及才知道我可愛　我想依賴而你卻都不在
應該開心的地帶　你給的全是空白　
一個人假日發呆　找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的門外　卻一直都進不來　
你累積給的傷害　我是真的很難釋懷
終於看開愛回不來　而你總是太晚明白　
最後才把話說開　哭著求我留下來
終於看開愛回不來　我們面前太多阻礙　
你的手卻放不開　寧願沒出息求我別離開
你總是要我乖慢慢計劃將來　我的眼淚卻一直掉下來
過去怎麼交代你該給的信賴　被你親手緩緩推入懸崖
從我臉上的蒼白　看到記憶慢下來　
過去甜蜜在倒帶　只是感覺已經不在
而我對你的期待　被你一次次摔壞　
已經碎成太多塊　要怎麼拼湊跟重來
終於看開愛回不來　而你總是太晚明白　
最後才把話說開　哭著求我留下來
終於看開愛回不來　我們面前太多阻礙　
你的手卻放不開　寧願沒出息求我別離開

reminiscing this song, forgotton how much i like this song.

need to sleep early tonight.
GOODNIGHT WORLD! :) and i know tomorrow will be a better day.

the15th<3

lifey life

2011-12-03T20:50:00.005+08:00

we can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renuncaition. it's one thing to feel that you are on the right path but it's another to think that yours is the only path.

december-a month of lights, snow, feasts; time to make amends and tie loose ends; finish off what you started and hope your wishes come true.

THIRD DAY INTO DECEMBER! :)
how have december been for all of you so far, i hope it has been great.
december is the most relaxing and enjoyable month for all i suppose :D
so enjoy while it lasts.
happy holidays to everyone! ^^

went for class gathering on wednesday.
it's heartwarming to know that even though most of us are not in the same class anymore; the bonds still remains and that people still take the time out for a meetup to catch up on those good old times :)
one thing for sure, this awesome class will definitely be missed in SRJC! :D

caught already famous on that day as well.
movie was rather okay, for a first timer to direct a movie, i will think that it's quite a good effort :)

and today, finally went to aunt's house after like 1234567 weeks :)
and get to see and play with my niece.
and ate SWENSENS the second time this week but know what, my weight instead of increasing, it DECREASE! :D
MUAHAHAHA, just weighed myself with my cousins today and i am back to my ideal and perfect weight of 45kg even after having rounds and rounds of buffet and good food! :D
life feels good :)

recently came across something quite interesting on tumblr:

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

everyone has a fair share of storms in their lives.
it's a part of life, no one can really predict a storm but what matters most is learning to deal with it.
but no matter what, you just know you got to make it through and reach the end.
and that's what life is worth ultimately.
and till now, i am still learning :)

basically, my life has been rather mudane these few days.
feel so lazy and all i want to do is nua :(
and what keep me looking forward to working life is thinking of the cash behind it!!!
next week gonna be quite packed, and starting work with my lovely girlfriends^^
and finlly meeting clickies for a stayover next weekend! :D
can't waitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt<3

till the next update~

alliwantisjusttohaveyourightnexttome<3

bittersweet journey

2011-11-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

some people come in your life as blessings, others come in your life as lessons.

and now, i officially bade goodbye to november, to the freaking A LEVELS and welcome december with open arms! :D
here comes my freedom.
it had been a rather long and torturing month, and till now, i still can't really accept the fact that i am done with the shitty A LEVELS which had been such a major nightmare :/
and after today, Alvls will just be nothing but a fading memory.
for the next few months, i gna start living my life and not give a thought to the Alvls anymore.
welcome to my new life :D

frankly speaking, the journey had been draining, exhausting and i still remember there were moments which i really cannot take the stress.
at times, i really had to urge to give up, self motivation doesn't work as well, optimism was getting nowhere, and i can't remember how i spend my school days.
it was well, counting down to the end of Alvls and that was what kept me going most of the times.
a few times i asked myself, what am i exactly doing in a jc, experiencing all the bullshit and misery where i could well better be off in a poly.
but after all the grumbling, whining, stress, tears, and misery, i had ended my jc journey.
it had been a tough one i would say.
that sense of helplessness that you feel when things aren't going your way;
that sense of misery when you very much wanted to make things better but it's just not within your control
that sense of angsty when you try your best but still are getting nowhere.
and if i were to say what i have really learnt throughout my whole jc journey is that, true friends are really really hard to find and you just got to be independent, someday.
i have seen the worst side of human beings in the last three years.
see how selfish human beings can get, see how uncaring they can be just to achieve good grades, see how friends leave each other to fend for themselves, see how people mention about not studying when obviously they are mugging behind people's backs, see how people judge each other without even knowing the whole story.
and this is what i experienced throughout my entire jc life.
at first, i felt that i was in hell, cause this was so different from what i use to experience.
i naively think that people all truly care about one another and that friends just help each other out, but obviously i was so wrong.
but as time goes by, i guessed i adapted and get used to it.
i learn to be independent and just not comment much about everything, like my sister always tell me "keeping silence is the best cause human beings are all selfish creatures".
and with that, i know that i have become stronger, and i am quite thankful for it :)
afterall, it's kind of nice being independent, it feels good knowing that you can depend on yourself at all times :)

but to add on, throughout my jc life, there were some gains and sweet memories which i know i will keep inside me forever :)
a few awesumz friends to tide you through those tough times, those awesumz friends who were there with you when you felt that school was too much to handle, those awesumz friends who were there to listen to you whine and relieving stress for you.
thankyou to my awesumz friends and vball girls! :D <3
and my dear sis, yiling who had always been there listening to me, comforting me when i breakdown and encouraging me at times when i didn't know who to turn to! MANY MANY LOVES! <3
all of these people had been a significant part of my school life, HEART YOU ALL VERY MUCH! :D
and not forgetting, my most important baby boy! :>
who is always there for me no matter what, and yaye, we survivied it till today together! :)
LOVEYOU VERY VERY MUCH! <3

on a random note, caught breaking dawn part 1 last week! :)

and conclusion is i kinda like it! :)
bella and edward make me believe in love :D
it's nice seeing how love can go to such great lengths.
two different individuals from different worlds embracing each other cause of love.
it's heart-warming, it make me realise that there's someone who can love you so much :)
and back to the movie, the scenes in this movie is really captivating :D
so it's a strongly encouraged to watch movie :)
and thanks again for watching the movie with me^^
now i can't wait for the next part which will only be out next year ):
anticipation.

and right now feeling a bit sick, had been a bit feverish the whole day.
drats, what a nice timing. urghs max.
hope i will get enough rest and recover by tmrw.
outing with last year classmates tmrw, most probably the last gathering wit everyone of them since most of the guys are going into NS soon.
oh well and just saying, my hair's really short now leh!!! :/

and now the time where i will stress over money. omgawd.
oh well, stop worrying, start living! :)
cheerios.

himybabyboy<3

new leash of life

2011-11-22T23:06:00.004+08:00

in life, we do things. some we wish we had never done. some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. but they all make us who we are. and in the end they shape every detail about us. if we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. so just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories, but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been and most importantly where it is you are going.

getting sick and tired of my blogskin. hur.
kind of sucks seeing this same old blogskin every now and then, so i guessed it's time for a change, gonna edit it when i am more free.
A's are not yet over and yet i act like it's already over.
just the 2 MCQS papers left to go, and in about one week's time, i will be all done! :D

the sense of liberation gets more diluting with time;
i feel a sense of emptiness for the upcoming freedom; i guessed it's because i don't really know what i want to do with my life;
i see others carefully planning what they want, what they want to learn and take up, how much excitement and thoughts they go into planning for their future.
suddenly, i am back at the same question i asked myself countless times;
what do i want to do with my life?
frankly speaking, i am kinda at a loss at this point in time;
i had absolute zero confidence in my papers and i doubt it can bring me anywhere;
plus for the months which follow, i don't want to just work my time away;
i know i need the source of income; and i will work.
i just don't want to spend my days working; i want to have a more fulfilling life, doing what i want to do.

changing the world is too big a dream for me.
but i really hope that someday, i can travel the world and help children in need.
i want to help those children suffering from malnutrition, educate them and see them turn into useful people for their society.
did i ever mention that my dream since young was to be a social worker?
and till now, this dream had not yet waver.
but it's getting out of reach...
sometimes, i feel so restricted by the circumstances of life.
i want to have that courage, that bit of courage to throw everything behind and just go all the way out to pursue what i want.
but then, often or not, reality sinks in.
and my reality is, i know i need to work very very hard to support myself for my next phase of education which my sister is currently doing so.
sometimes, i just feel really unfair :/
why are some people slogging their guts out to secure their own future while others can attain it so easily?
why do some people have to earn their own school fees when others are so fully supported by their parents.
for a teenager, it's too straining a burden sometimes.
i guessed sometimes, reality forget that actually, we are just teenagers afterall.

look at this picture, doesn't it look so temptingggggggg!!

I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO BAKE! :)
esp that boy, i know he love rainbow donuts, i hoped someday i can bake for you! :D
pls wait for that day to arrive kayz! ^^

and on a random note, i want to do something new to my hair.
any sugesstions?
i want to get wild and try out new things in the next few months.
afterall, life is short.
and on a side note, it's time to start taking note of jobs as reminded by my sis ):

my adorable niece:

such a cutie pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
had been ages since i seen her, will be soon i guessed :)

life is actually make up of just small little things in life :)
sometimes, all we need to do is just slow down and appreciate the things around us.
it had been some time since i am able to enjoy the little pleasures in life.
have been too busy keeping up with society's pace.
welcome to my new found life :D

had been a rather random post.
shall update more thoroughly about graduating from SRJC after A's as promised.
have a great week ahead people! :>

contented to have you in my life<3

what fate does to people

2011-11-16T21:22:00.008+08:00

only time will determine when and how you're going to move on. sure, it might not be the right away like you want it to be, but eventually one day you will wake up and realise that somewhere along the way, that piercing feeling you've been feeling inside your chest faded and went away while you were too busy living life to notice.

someday, i wanna walk down a street like this, just enjoying the night breeze, breathing in the fresh air and being surrounded by lively people. a pity this sight wouldn't ever be found in singapore :(

last post was dated october 8.
how time flies and it's the midst of A LEVELS!
just three more papers left to go, finally time for me to catch a little little breather! :)
had been really drained by the examinations which determine so much of our next step in life :(
sometimes, i really can't help but wonder again and again whether all this will be worth it in the end?
i feel that i am getting nowhere at all~
but oh well, back to the papers, it was relatively easier as what people had claim to be.
some papers were efffing tough and i didn't complete some papers! :(
people said it's already over, no use worrying when you can't change anything.
but i just don't work this way, burdened by too many people's expectations
and the fear is gradually setting in as the ending draws near.
sometimes i really can't help must wonder why must our future and the path we take be determined by results; don't people get the idea that life is much much more than results alone?!
a few grades on that piece of paper doesn't determine who you are as a person-
i hope that with time, i will really be able to convince myself that it's the case as well.
been under the tremendous influence of results for the past few years of my life.

some photos to speak of my life:

CK's bdae!

classmates~

my awesumz daughter!^^

my vball girls<3

biggest idiot on the left(:

samantha!

shot #2

my journey in SRJC had sort of officially end.
it had been a tough 3 years i would say;
many a times, i fall, be it in studies or whatever other stuff;
i lost and i gain and well due to the A's not being over, with 3 more papers to go, will dedicate one more detailed post after A's when i gain my liberation.
still, thankful for the experiences life had given me(:
about two more weeks till the end of A's.
i know i can survive it and look forward to my temporary stress-free life! :D

my own self-declared rest day today:
caught two movies in a row with friends, 2359 and you are the apple of my eye^^

you are the apple of my eye movie^^

this movie impacted me very significantly.
never expect it to be a real life story as well, a guy chasing and waiting for a girl for over half of his lifetime only to watch the girl he loves marry another person;
yet still wishing her all the best is the most heartfelt touching feeling that one can ever experience while watching the show(:
two people that were crazily in love with each other yet giving up the chance to be together cause the guy didn't dare to ask for the girl's hand~

也许我们在另一个平行时空是在一起的, 谢谢你喜欢我
what a touching scene filled with heartfelt feelings, i can never forget this scene in the movie^^

and

an awesumz song to end it all;
亲爱的我多麽幸运
人海中能够遇见你
亲爱的我多麽盼望
就从这一刻起和你分享所有感觉
亲爱的我多麽幸运
人海中能够遇见你
亲爱的我多麽盼望
就从这一刻起和你分享真心的感觉

this movie is super super thumbs up! A MUST WATCH SHOW!^^
now i can't wait for breaking dawn(:

and heard that the school and teahouse i went and stay in during the cambodia trip was flooded! :((((
hope the people there are fine! praying hard for them, all those kids and their familes, all those heartwarming people who took care of us during our stay there, i hoped they will all be all right! :/ god bless them~

will be back after A's! :)
stay tuned.

you will always be mine to stay<3

the last lap of school

2011-10-08T00:08:00.005+08:00

a short post it will be.
shall update more thoroughly after A's when i got the time :)
last official school day today, lots and lots of mixed feelings.
i am never good with goodbyes and parting, and i hope be it now or in the future, i wouldn't ever be good with it.
it's too heavy-hearted :/
but afterall, it's all the friendship forged and bonds that were tied, memories created that i know will stay with us till the very end.
thank you SRJC for all the wonderful and awesumz friends! (:

loving the people around me! :)
they make my life so much better and enjoyable! :D
and esp that boy, who had been such a huge part of my life! <3

now it's the last last lap to A's already, mugger mode on, everyone and we will get there! :)
just a bit more to go.
ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE! :)

un-fixed thoughts

2011-09-01T22:32:00.009+08:00

behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain(:

HELLO SEPTEMBER! :)
gna do some updating to this dead blog and i reckon it's going to be quite a long-winded post due to the train of thoughts now :)

LAST SATURDAY: 27 AUGUST 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER AND EILEEN! (:
met up with yiling and verity and planned a mini surprise celebration for eileen.
and it was super ultra phailz to the max.
but still, i believe it's the thought that counts.
at the end of the day, it's heart-warming to realise you have friends like this who put in efforts and time for your birthday, doing all the senseless small little things just to make you happy.
friends are indeed priceless and i am thankful for every single one of my friends :D

ME with the cake :) stealing limelight of birthday girl**

BIRTHDAY GIRL! :)

LOVE THE EFFECT OF MYSELF HERE**

YAY, SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT! :)

EXACT SAME ACTION AS A FEW YEARS BACK! :)

RANDOM SHOT #1

PRETTY EFFECT #2

PRELIMS results wasn't relatively good, in fact, it kind of sucks :S
i feel like really demoralised, i can't describe how sucky this feeling is, just imagine not reaping what you sow, just imagine others putting in less efforts than you yet scoring better in all aspects.
true, life's unfair but i got no idea why this is always happening to me.
i worked for it, i worked for what i want, but somehow it just doesn't work time and again.
i feel really tired of trying to persuade myself that hard work really pays off, it's getting harder and harder to believe by the minute.
now, i just try all means to persuade others that i am still fighting, i am still working hard, not giving up but fact is, the last bit of motivation and fighting spirit already died down deep inside me.
i just want to stop people from probing further, to worry about me, and of course the last thing i want them to do is giving me long talks and lectures, encouraging me and motivating me.
cause i realise it doesn't work this way anymore.

nevertheless, though our results are exactly great right now, 2S05, all the way man! (:

current song on replay-陪着我的时候想着她

你陪着我的时候想着她
你听不见我的心在喧哗
明明我知道却装作没想法
是善体人意还是傻瓜
你陪着我的时候想着她
你看不见我的笑多受伤
世界有多大只剩下一个她
遮住我的星光还占领你的善良

this lyrics has been running in my mind since a few days back.
it just unknowingly fixed itself into my brain.
the feeling's of this song overwhelming (:

thinking of this song makes me think of what i have heard. it really disgusts me.
how can guys even have this kind of thinking?!
GIRLS AIN'T YOUR FUCKING TOYS.
we are not objects which you can just throw away after getting bored of it.
seriously, i don't understand the way guys think, what gives them the right to toy with girls' feelings?!
this type guys should cease to exist and spare girls all the agony.
#well, ugly side of (male)players.

and really, i would do anything right now to gain that little bit of motivation back to keep me going. i really need it badly right now ):
shall stop here, had been a rather long post.

i am only me when i am with you<3

what you want to be

2011-08-19T12:06:00.007+08:00

finish each day and be done with it. you have done what you could. some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day;begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense(:

and there, that's my vicious cycle in life right now.
halfway through the prelims and as usual, that uneasy and worried feeling came haunting back like never before.
T.G.I.F.
i never thought i would use this phrase so much, and now i am using it on a weekly basis.
papers had been well, average so far, physics had been the worst paper, forever and always the same.
though average and slightly better as compared to mid-years, i am still not confident of passing. sometimes, i just can't apprehend why am i working so hard for?
is it just so worth it to slog my guts out with so much uncertainty, somemore, it's not what i am interested in.
but this is not the point now, the emphasis is to get A's over and done with.
last 4 papers next week, and finally a temporary and short-lived breather awaits me(:

chanced upon something so true when blog hopping:

Libra Deep Inside:

They are also likely to hide or bend their own true feelings in order to bring peace with a group and to make others like them. Sometime this results in them not really knowing what their true feelings are because they are trying to make everyone happy. Other people can see this and Libras have earned themselves a reputation for being indecisive, they simply do not want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause disorder or friction in a situation. This spills over inside the person and many times, Libras have difficulty making decisions. Inside, the Libra is very insecure, they suffer from a lack of self confidence, they are always searching for something to complete them. This is another reason why they are social butterflies, it is an unconscious attempt to find the missing peace through other people. By trying to appease other people all the time, Libras don't really know who they are inside. Libras desperately need love and approval, they will do the favors that people ask and and have a hard time saying 'no' or 'I'm too busy' in order to prove how nice they are, this gradually builds up resentment and negative self esteem issues inside. Libra's indecisiveness is caused by fear, their fear that a wrong decision will make everything come crashing down around them and cause turmoil in their lives. Life is not like that and the Libra that acknowledges the fact that life has ups and downs will be less emotionally wound up, not so hard on themselves and as a result, they will be a much happier person.

so absolutely true, i feel me in here, maybe in the past, but now, not so much anymore. gradually losing it somehow.

meaningful thing:

a human body can bear only up to 45 del(unit) of pain but at the time of giving birth, a woman feels up to 57 del(unit) of pain. this is similar to twenty bones getting fracture at a time.
love your mother, the most beautiful person on this earth, our best critic, yet our strongest supporter :)

the world will be so much better if everyone is just willing to give a bit more.
no complications, no hard felt feelings, just pure sincerity and thoughtfulness.
a pity, it's reality we are living in.

HANG ON, 12 more weeks to A's!
make it or break it :)

missing my boy(:<3

impossible to apprehend

2011-08-12T22:49:00.007+08:00

think of something really hard you've had to go through in the past. well, you survived it. you're alive, aren't you? think about that the next time you're going through a really hard time. you'll pull through. you'll survive. you are strong. your skin may tear and your bones may break but your soul can never be irreversibly damaged.

WHAT.AM.I.DOING.HERE.
feel so screwed, it's prelims period. and yes, it's prelims period NOW.
but miraculously, i am feeling extraordinary calm. this calmness soothe me to an extent that it leave me bewildered.
finally, i guessed i lost the urge to fight for what i want, i should say what others expect of me.
i guessed i am finally coming to terms to accepting that there are so much more to life than education.
maybe education is really important and i never doubt its importance, but it's not the route for me. i really tried to study and motivate myself but sometimes, some things are just beyond control.
but having come thus far, i will continue to push myself and give it my all and i will try not to worry about the results which i cannot control.
i just need some fighting spirit and motivation to last me through the end of A's, about 2 more months plus to go! (:

SR thanksgiving is just over and as usual, it had been awesumzz! :D
this is the only reason i am glad to be in SRJC, the reason why i am thankful for SRJC cause all events like this.
see teachers dancing to party rock anthem, shuffling all over and doing kpop dance had really been an eye opener.
suck it up to all other elitist JCs, let see your teachers shuffle!

S5 girls!

SHUYIN! (:

SAMANTHA! :D

BUFFET GANG! (:

HI IDIOT! XD

STOP EATING! love my hair here hehe

SWEEET GIRL! :D

QIAN WEI! (:

before thanksgiving concert, went for BUFFET at kiseki at heeren with buffet gang and peeps from S5.
finally there's like a class outing after being classmates for so many months! :)
had fun stufffing myself with food! worth the money! :)

and thanks meiqi, amanda and michelle for the flowers and weixuan for the balloon! :D
and NGJUNTAT for the rose too! <3
hehe love receiving small gifts like this, never failed to make me smile! :)
it's times like this i feel so loved by the people around me :D

2 more weeks to the end of prelims ):
i feel tired, drained out, like a zombie who keeps on moving with no destination in mind.
i just know i got to keep on going.
need to stop procrastinating! D:
ALL RIGHT, SRJCians ALL THE WAY! (:

i am drowning in you<3

never assume, never judge

2011-07-31T22:20:00.005+08:00

There it goes again. that heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is to close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything

and it's AUGUST already.
doesn't feel like two months had passed, certainly doesn't feel like it.
prelims's in about two weeks time.
OHGAWD, 99 more days to A's, panic mode is on like never before.

life's rather tiring lately, handling the stress and holding back the urge to break down every now and then.
but shall just try to remember what happened recently.

MY SUPER ULTRA CUTE NIECE! :)

AMANDA's BDAE! :)

WILL RUN 2011!

yesterday was SRJC WILL RUN 2011! :)
my last time participating in the run.
and though we frigging have to wake up at 5 plus in the morning and push ourselves to run 10km or more and suffer the after effect of muscles aches;
i love events like this where the whole school fight together for a common goal.
the atmosphere is awesome and even more awesome when we reached our aim ultimately.
and as usual, SRJC never disappoints, we met our distance of 20 040 km! :)
and it was nice seeing mr tan back in school again (:

lots of emotions in my head which i certainly don't have the luxury to type it all out.
but oh well, maybe it's true that i can't be fixed either :/

moments with you :) lost myself in you <3

final lap, make it count :)

2011-06-24T22:58:00.005+08:00

everybody's struggling in their own ways, never judge.

LAST WEEKEND of the supposingly one month and it became two weeks holidays.
school's reopening on monday! ):
and it's like 57 days left to prelims, starting on 16 august, and 107 days to A LEVELS, which is about 4 months plus away.
it's surprising how i start to take note of the exam dates now.
it's MAJOR EXAMS! ):
i really want to make this count, studying so hard for the past few years just for this exam.
i don't want to let myself down, ENDURE! (:

meet up with some of the vball girls today! :D
i missed those times, missed those gossiping times, those training sessions where we used to vent our frustrations and played with the ball.
cca-less make me feel sort of empty now ):
it's funny how a committment may turn from a burden and to something enjoyable in the end (:
honestly speaking, i am really glad to have know all my cca peeps! :D
i know they are the group of friends i will miss dearly when i graduate cause we have already form close bonds after having been through so much! ^^

MICHELLE :D

UDDERS! ^^

HUITING! :D

QIANWEI! :D

but today's meet up was rather oh well, only 4 of us! D:
hopefully, we can all meet up soon after A's.
ENDURE and remain positive! (:
LOVEMYCCAPEEPS! :D

perhaps another studying session with my dear sister yiling and mummy verity tomorrow.
last studying session at RP had been rather productive, though we procrastinate a while and got carried away with stalking people on facebook, but oh well, we managed to get back soon (:
hopefully tmrw will be equally effective as well! :D
FIGHTING!^^

i reckon i wouldn't be updating on this space when school reopens.
4 months plus left, it seems short yet long.
i hoped i make it, wish me luck! :)
toodles.

the best part of my life is youuu! :>

mugging in the world of vampires

2011-06-17T21:41:00.005+08:00

a strong person is not the one who doesn't cry. a strong person is the one who knows how to be quiet, shed a tear for a moment and then picks up his sword and fight again.

LAST WEEK INTO THE JUNE HOLIDAYS! ):
can't apprehend why holidays always passed extremely fast.
but oh well, looking at the bright side, when school reopens, i will only have 6 weeks of school, and mug all the way till A's.
endure endure endure and my freedom is on the way, not far from reach! :)
oh well, this holidays, actually i ain't not sure what i have been doing.
not much of a "out-going" girl, but yet not exactly mugging hard as well, just a bit here and there :S

but i am extremely caught up in the world of VAMPIRES! :D
TWILIGHT SAGA.
i know it's a bit "outdated" now, but even though having watch the shows a few times, reading the book just thrills and excites me.

BELLA AND EDWARD! :D

i am damm mesmerised by the male lead, which happens to be a vampire, edward cullen.
it's nice getting lost in their world as you read the book and get yourself so engrossed.
he's close to perfect, as you read about him in the book.
the way he love this girl, who's human.
it's just OHMYGAWDDDDDDDDD! :D
you got to read to understand and feel for yourself guys, i can't wait for the last movie, breaking dawn, where the girl and edward finally get married! :D
happy ending! but it's only coming out in november, damm, still a few months more!~
the movie better be good and up to expectations, can't wait.
all right, shall stop going on and on lest someone get jealous :P

i really can't wait to get my social life back.
seeing people going out, enjoying life and doing what they want, i feel so envious.
i am stuck at home mugging for A's.
sad case, but oh well, a few more months, before i can have the time of my life.
i will make it worth it! :D

making use of the last week of holidays with studying and work.
sighs.
enough of whining, what a random post, off to get lost in my own world again.
toodles~

losing it

2011-06-14T17:28:00.004+08:00

当你觉得处处不如人时，不要自卑，记得你只是平凡人。当 bie人忽略你时，不要伤心,mei个人都有自己的生活，谁都不可能一直陪你。当你看到 bie人在笑时，不要以wei世界上只有你一个人在伤心，其shi bie人只是比你会掩饰。当你很无助时，你可以哭，但哭过你必须要振作起来，即使输掉了一切，也不要输掉微笑 :)

what a meaningful quote! :)
all right, being real random.
feels awkwardly weird to blog and use the com at such a timing.
but oh well, just attempted one physics paper and thought i could use a break before continue mugging tonight~
got to prioritise and sacrifice some of my slacking time ):
5 more months seems so long, i need to get myself really motivated! :/

meeting you tmrw, like finally! :D
can't wait :)

i want to live life like there's no tomorrow, and for once, throw aside all my responsibilites~

the final say in things

2011-06-08T22:34:00.010+08:00

the hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else

don't walk just because you know where all these ends;
you have to run and press on towards the goal! (:
second week into the holiday~
can't believe one week just flew past like that.
holidays, it make me have the urge to really throw everything aside and relax and have fun.
BUT THEN, i know i can't ):
this holidays is a major mugging session for me;
a session for me to STUDY and catch up on my grades ):
speaking of grades, it's depressing ttm :/
it sucks knowing that your efforts didn't pay off, and it sucks more to know you are not up to it.
reality check, 5 more months and i am still nowhere there ):
really.must.study.hard.hard.hard.this holidays ):

but still, hopefully i hoped i will have some time to unwind as well.
but thinking of the pile of homework is enough to really stress me out!
U.R.G.H.S.

some piccys to make more post less wordy:

**AWWWWW

*MELTS MELTS

XMEN DAY AND SUSHI BUFFET! :)

OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! :P

and i attended guides campfire last night.
oh well, all i can say is the standard really needs some refinement :)

i really want to learn how to bake cupcakes! :)
i think it's so funnn!
i want to go beautiful places and take loads of nice nice pictures.
i want sit by the beach and sun tann and waste my day away.
i want travel all over the world and help those kids that are in need.
RAWR. there are so many things i want to do.
i want my freedom soon ):
and of course, to spend my days with you, in your arms, and just waste our days away :D

all right, i am damm random.
but i just post whatever that comes to my mind.
toodles for now~

back to the starting point

2011-06-02T22:39:00.006+08:00

be nice to everyone you meet. they're facing battles you have no idea about.

UPDATING ON A FREQUENT BASIS NOW! :)
oh well, it wouldn't be permanent, so enjoy while it lasts.

the first week of june holidays is almost over.
this sucks >.<
can't believe how time flies, doesn't it?
school's taking up almost half of my whole holidays and it's still ongoing now.
even though the pace is slower and less hectic, i still get drained up at the end of the day and i had no idea why-.-
and as predicted, the work is piling up.
it seems like A's over but apparently it's not, it's just the beginning.
getting a bit sick and tired of fighting when i don't see the results ):

i am disliking this kinda life.
but coming thus far, i am forsaking my social life till A's are officially over.
so shall make do with my dull life for now >.<

PICTURES:>

1S04 girls! :> an awesumzzz bunch^^

HUIEARM&VERITY's birthday celebration:

HUINI~ :D

birthday girls~

RANDOM SHOT #1

JANNA! :D

SISSS! <3

HUIEARM!:D

GERALDINE :D

RANDOM SHOT #2

MUMMY! :D

the girls thou crazy, they can make my day :)
miss those guiding times~ :<

EDMUND's birthday :>

FELICIA! :D

the custom-make cake for that noob! :)

PALS FOR LIFE! <3

hi birthday boy! :)

these are people whom i know i will be with for life :>
awesumzzz pals<3

RAWR, i wonder how fruitful i will spend for june holidays.
but by hook or crook, it needs to be fruitful.
but i supposed it's not demanding to take a week off to slack, since the week's almost over already~
well, hang in there people! :)

lost the feel to blog :<
toodles~

anywhere with you, as long as it's you<3

appreciation

2011-05-28T22:28:00.013+08:00

nobody is truly fine, everyone struggles everyday.

HELLO EVERYONE! :D
here to get some of my life back, MYEs are officially over! :)
but there still lessons for the next two weeks, i just get a tiny, really really tiny break to refresh myself for the A's that in 5 months time~
i really like the after-exams feel, it's like a huge load off your shoulders and at least for the next couple of days, there's no need to think about the fucking paper and results that judge so many things.
but nevertheless, will study during this holidays! :)
i will hang on and have faith! :)

went kevin's hosue yesterday with S4 peeps to celebrate shuyin, yikun and meiqi's birthdays and to gather as well! :)
AWESOME DAY WITH AWESOME PEOPLE! :D
glad to see that S4 are still as united as before even though we are all in different classes now.
the spirit and bond still going strong! (:
S4 FTW! :D

went to catch pirrates of the carribean in the evening! :)
the movie was nice, was so attracted to the mermaid, she was beautiful! :)
movies to look forward to next are HARRY POTTR AND BREAKING DAWN^^

have lotsa pictures to post for this post:

CHERLYN! :) unofficial member of S4! welcome! :)

AWESOME GIRLS! :D

CAMWHORING WARM UP! :)

THE GIRLS! :D

THE GIRLS AAGIN! :D

BIRTHDAY GIRL, MEIQI SIS :)

JANICE! WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY! :)

CHEERS TO ALL OF US :D

HI IDIOT! XD

AMANDA NU ER! :D

SHUYIN FAN! :D

so as you can see, all of us are CAMWHORING FREAKS! :)
there's a total of about 300+ photos taken in just a few hours?!
and all the pictures are so nice! :)
but really like how all of us are so comfortable with each other and can have fun and go crazy together! :)
S4 is one of the most united and bonded class ever like seriously! (:

PRESENTING TO YOU SRVB GIRLS! :D
the pictures was taken during nationals, only uploaded now, a bit time lag but still yeah :)
looking at the pictures really made me reminsce,
I MISSED MY SRVB GIRLS A LOT! :/
missed training with them, missed slacking together, missed all the crap and gossiping sessions with them, missed playing match and lastly volleyball together! :)
we should all really catch up one day during the holiday and play volleyball! :)
i want to have my ball feel back :D

SPs! :D let's jiayou together! (:

QIAN WEI AND MICHELLE! :D

KANGTING! :D

MELISSA! :D known her for three years! :)

glad to have made so many good and awesome friends in SRVB! :)
i will continue playing vball, cause it has become my passion! :D

had a sudden fetish for CUPCAKES! :)
i think it's so fun and nice to be able to bake some yourself! :)
shall meet up with mummy verity and yiling sis someday during the holidays to bake! :)
and the stupid idiot shall be my guniea pig! :P

feel so accomplished that i updated all my blogs today(:
all right, shall stop here, long post it has been.
enjoy your holidays people, and don't forget to work and play hard as well.
TOODLES~

youmeantheworldtome<3

fixing life

2011-05-20T22:04:00.007+08:00

we are all a little damaged;
some of us hide it better than others, but on some level, we are all torn up.

It's time for some updating again! :)
life have been i-don't-know-how-to-describe-my-life at this instant.
it's in the midst of MID-YEARs, one last week to go.
oh well, for the papers that i had took, i don't know how to describe;
it's like it feels like i can do some, but it also feels like i don't know anything at all.
so i am like drifting in the sea still.
the fucked up thing is that i left 6 pages of my physics paper 2 BLANK-.-
first time ever in my life, but oh well, there's always a first time for everything (:

here are some pictures of the events during the past couple of weeks:

VERITY's and HUI EARM's birthday celebration!^^

GUIDESMATES UNITE! :D
the pictures are a bit limited cause i took most using yiling's camera.
waiting for her to upload(:

and so yeah, we went to FISH and CO at the glass house.
super love the ambience there, there's live band! (:
ultra coolness, so we managed to do a dedication to the birthday girls^^

PRESENTING TO YOU MY SUPER DUPER CUTE NIECE:

awwww *melts*

my cousins! :D

get what i mean! ^V^
all right, shall not go on and on least someone get jealous :P

on a random note, watch titanic recently.
as usual, it moved me to tears :/
i think titanic is one of the best movies i have ever watch cause it totally captivates my heart and make my emotions go up and down.
it make me realised how shallow movies are getting nowadays.
but oh well, movies to look forward to next are harry potter and breaking dawn!^^

i wished MYEs end soon!
i want to seriously stop walking out of the hall feeling like shit, it's super demoralising! :<(
looking forward to that tiny little break at the same time :)
on a random note, i missed playing volleyball! ):

officially missing you~(:

time against time

2011-05-02T17:15:00.006+08:00

maybe i will never be who i was before
maybe i don't even know her anymore
maybe who i am today, ain't so far from yesterday (:

sound interesting, doesn't it? :)
oh well, though i ain't sure if literally, i interpret it correctly, but who cares.
ain't supposed to be here, typing and wasting my time away.
time is goddamm precious to me now, judging from the amount of revision i have to do.
but seriously, maths is driving me insane.
complex numbers, vectors, integration and even J1 topics which i have already clean forgotton some ):
i have already been trying very hard to study, so here's a little break for myself :)

yaye, two consecutive short weeks with only 4 school days and next friday school ends at 1pm! :D
i love short weeks, it motivates me to go school cause i know one day is a day closer to the long weekends :)
but on a heavy note, mid years is just a few bloody days away.
i am worried seriously, i don't like the feeling of stoning during examinations and leave the examination hall feeling defeated and depressed.
this is fucking annoyinggggggg~
i shall stayed glued to the books for the next few days till MYEs are officially over. FOCUS.
but then, edmund and verity's birthday are also round the corner, dangs. hopefully can squeeze in some time for them (:

AWESOME dinner with S4 peepos on saturday night:

went to school for college day, and was a freaking waste of our time.
we like waited for one hours to listen to speech after speech.
the only thing good about college day is that i finally heard our former principal Mr Tan speak again.
missed his good afternoon.
remincising memories when he was still our principal, wished he still was :/
dinner at changi airport after.

yaye i loved the girls! :D

1S04 FTW! :D

my fav girl since young!(:

heee love myself here, nice effect :)

CHEERIOS!^^

great way to end off saturday.
this is why i especially loved saturdays cause it always gives me a warmth feeling :)
need to head back to the books soon, wouldn't be updating as frequently due to examinations, but nevertheless, still love all the readers!(:
all the best to everyone for MYEs! :D
hmm, thinking whether to unlock my blog...

the happiest people in life don't have it all.
they just make the best of what they have.

holding on to this feeling, forever.<3

when life is just a cycle

2011-04-22T21:17:00.006+08:00

why compare yourself with others?
no one in the entire world can do a better job of being you then you(:

how true. no one and nothing in this world can define who you are :)
but the sad thing is, often or so, people can affected by how others sees them, how others think of them, and always never fail to compare themselves with others, thinking that others are forever better than them, the lack of security, the lack of faith about oneself, the failure to believe in oneself.
sometimes, all everyone need is just a little faith :)

HELLLOZ! :D
had been hell long a time since i last updated this dead space of mine.
was really busy with the hectic schedule at school, with night study, trying hard to catch up in studies and of course the A's division which just ended a few days ago :)

night study is oh well, hadn't really been effective to that big extent so far.
was kinda tired out by it, imagine ending school at 9+ pm in the night everyday ):
but at least it forces us to study so i hoped it will be beneficial in the long run.
i'm still holding on! :D 6 more months to go! :)
and mid-year is around the corner as well ): gonna put in the best i've got, though sometimes it's really hard to find that surge of motivation when nothing seems to be going right.
but i am trying to remain as optimistic as i can! :)
JIAYOU PEOPLE! :)

and A's division just ended on a good note.
competiting against VJC, NYJC, TJC, SAJC had been a really good experience :)
the tension built up the match and the hunger to win after all the training is just so in-describable :)
and i am proud of SRVB girls cause we perform above expectations, we won one match at least :)
finally, it can shut people's mouths up, stop them from saying SRVB girls sucks.
and the end of A's divisions means the end of my cca in SRJC ):
well, mixed emotions regarding this.
still remembered how i used to look forward to stepping down from cca, but now, that bit of emptiness is overflooding deep within me.
i guessed it will feels a bit weird not having to attend cca weekly now, but i will make an effort to continue playing volleyball cause it's part of me now! :D
and of course, the bonds created in SRVB! :)
it's funny how close we all get after a few months of training, loveyouall SRVB girls!<3
SR GIRLS ACE ACE ACE ACE WHOOSH! :)

below are some pictures during clickies' gathering :

SMILE MORE LUH NG JUN TAT, you looked nice here! :)

LOVE this collage! <3

EDMUND's POP! :D

HI glad you are there with me! (:

so went out with clickies consecutively for two weekends.
first weekend is edmund's POP :)
he had finally grown up! LOL :)
second week is the so-called last gathering before all of their school reopen.
oh welll, unfair cause my school didn't stop at all yet ):
but yeah, we went night cycling at east coast park! :)
love how clickies always can have fun together even though the planning always fail;
but in the end, we all make everything worthwhile :D
love you all dearest clickies, and work hard for the new semester all right! (:
and you finally met them!<3

it's no joke now, gotta work real hard from now.
A's is really coming, whether i want it or not /:
more on wp(:

don't worry, just breathe, if it's meant to be, it will find its way :)

because of you, i always have a million reasons to smile<3

end of term break, welcoming hell

2011-03-20T14:16:00.008+08:00

if you don't step forward, you're always in the same place

END OF TERM BREAK! ):
hate it how holidays always seems so short, GAH ):
as usual, incomplete homework, actually the main reasons are just insufficient time and the level of difficulty.
oh well, can't believe i am actually feeling guilty for slacking instead of doing hardcore mugging.
what had school turned me into seriously?!
why can't we just enjoy being teens, afterall, we are still young :)
but i guessed we all need to work for something that we want, that's the way how life operates :)

some lagging in time pictures!:

BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL! :D

CLASSMATES 2S05! :)

had friendly with punggol sec last friday! :)
oh well, match was quite a competitive one, cause the standards were around the same;
so yeah, had a good game! :D
went to ikea after with huiting, melissa and michelle! :)

LAST NIGHT met up with clickies like finally! :)
edmund's head is seriously damm laugh-able, but oh well, he's still our nicest, greatest and noobest brother ever! :D
and seriously, was damm pissed with that asshole ERNEST LIM WEIYANG.
like seriously wtf is wrong, promising to turn up, and yet just after two hours, totally MIA, not even a phone call or text to explain,
if you can't turn up, don't fucking promise you will.
totally spoil our plans.
and if you can't fucking bother, then don't. we appreciate that :)
this is the last time we even bother asking you. period. mark our words.
still nevertheless, awesome night with the usuals :D
and thanks for all of your help! (:

@random thoughts
sometimes in life, it's really hard to make everyone see eye to eye on everything without them judging.
but the most important thing is never be affected by what others think of you(:
cause if you do, that's the dumbest thing in the world.
and i know your had been probably judging or saying about me behind my back, so be it.
i can't be bothered by how those un-important people look at me.
moreover, we known each other for less than a year and i can understand if our friendship were put to the test and if it didn't pass, then too bad :)
i don't need friends who judge.
cause i am already happy with my group of friends and you!<3

FULL TIME MUGGING IN TERM 2! ):
totally dreading it man :s
but come on, be strong, it's just a few more tortorous months before liberation! :)

we are in fact, the sum total of our choices(:

making every moment count :)

2011-03-11T20:56:00.005+08:00

sometimes i feel as in i am racing with my own shadow. but that's the one thing that i'll never be able to outrun

GREETINGS! :)
one month plus to my last update, oh well, life have never been busier.
everyday feels so happening somehow.
so much that now blogging, i don't know where to start from.

all right, shall start with the recent happenings and shall backtrack bit by bit! :)
COMMON TESTS are over!!! :)
but it's officially screwed i sweared.
i feel goddamm clueless as i do the paper, freak sia>.<
plus the thing is i left 4 maths questions COMPLETELY BLANK.
WTF sia, first time ever, merely thinking about it just drives me so insane.
just what am i doing.
but oh well, shall not ponder on it since it's over.
seriously, gurantee plus chop need to buck up and really study.
i don't wna regret one year from now :)

and A's division will officially begin on the 9 april :)
thinking abt this reminds me oh how badly i played during the innova's match.
TSK, i need to calm down like seriously if not it's going to affect my performance to a great extent! ):

WOAH, just realised my stuff all revolve around school!
my life's getting rather mudane, well, what to do, i spend practically every waking moment in school! ):
i sweared i gonna get my freedom back after all these bullshit! :)

some really overdue pictures:

CNY PICTURES:

COUSINS FTW :D

MY SIS's masterpiece! :)

CLICKIES! :D

MY NIECE! :D don't look at my fat thighs! ):

reading till here, don't get jealous :)
it's not that you ain't significant to blog about, it's just that this is blogger and all my posts will be in general, you will be in wordpress(:
still must stay tune kayz! :)
finally update my dead blog! :)

@some random thoughts
as you grow up, i realised the number of friends one have does not really matter anymore.
instead, it's having a few true friends that truely matter :)
true friends are people who no matter at any point in time you go running to them, they wouldn't judge you, they still firmly believe in you and accept you flaws
you know, not everybody will walk through those darkest moments with you.
you know not everybody even having been close believe will stay with you till the very end.
nor will they know and affirm themselves of who you really are
somehow time is a negative factor much as i hate to say it.
but i wouldn't judge people for i am in no position to either.
just somehow left kinda disappointed at times..
but still, thanks for being one of those true few(:

i should stop trying to live up to the world's expectations

those little things in life

2011-02-02T22:16:00.010+08:00

you can't have a better tomorrow if you don't stop thinking about yesterday(:

HELLO MY TINY SPACE AND MY LOVELY READERS!
i know it had been quite a while since i updated.
well, i need time time time and more time ):

anyway, it's CHINESE NEW YEAR already.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL! :)))
we are in our way to february right now.
really, time flies and waits for no one ):

BACK TO TUESDAY:
had a little surprise advanced birthday celebration for dearest sis :)
sometimes, it's not how much we all do, it's those little things that make people feel apreciative and loved and to my dearest sis;
just know that no matter what happens, you will always have me to count on!<3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3BhSWucxO9E/TUrOK_vEaRI/AAAAAAAACXA/LxTbFLpZ4MU/s1600/DSCF9012.jpg">

the process of preparing, gosh it can kill but glad that there's still kind people arnd to offer help(:

LAST SATURDAY:
supposingly to be a outing for edmund before he enlists;
but oh well, disappointments as usual :<
but then nevertheless, crazy times together will never be forgotton, i know there's more to come!(:

EDMUND, last look at his hair! HAHAHA

reunion dinner and lunch was kinda all right this year.
somehow, it's almost the same every year but i realised as i grow up,
i began to appreciate this once in a year gathering more and more.
the warmth and fuzzy feeling that one derived from these simple gatherings is absolutely priceless (:

and looking at my grandma, i feel that she aged so so much ):
to put it bluntly, got a feeling that she's somehow just waiting for her time to be up ):
looking at her, i am filled with remorse and guilt.
18 years of my life and i asked myself, how frequent have i visited her, how much have i talked to her, the sad thing is i can't even communicate with her due to language barrier ):
i guessed that's the thing with humans; they never learn and even if they did learnt, it's always somehow through the bad way.
but whatever it is, i still love you grandma! :D

heading over to my maternal side to visit tmrw! :)
looking forward to it! :)
enjoy your holidays people! :)
shall upload pictures soon! HEH.

HAHA, i know you will be reading this.
so when you read until here, feel super proud of me kayz, cause i updated my dead space already! MUAHAHAHA :D
i want to hold hands and spend all my time in the world with you and only you <3

crumbling down..yet not

2011-01-09T21:11:00.003+08:00

mind filled with thousand and thousand of thoughts that i just don't know how to explain ):

DANGS.
it's school tmrw.
i hate school. i hate school. i hate school.
especially school this year cause i know it will be a pile of shit ):
say goodbye to my freedom and social life as of tmrw.
i am srsly dreading it.
i don't know how long i can survive cause i already feel the stress and is freaking out ):

HUITING's BBQ:

VBALL GIRLS UNITE! :)

all right, how greattt, CCA tmrw, just on the first day of school ):
and i am starting physics tuition, every sunday.
siannnnnnnnnnn, i feel so burdened by the tuition fees like seriously.
uneasy, guiltyness is breaking me down.
all right, enough of rantings;
shall go prepare for school.
will be back when there's time! :)
toodles~

there's always gonna be that one person, no matter what they do, what they say or how many times they may hurt you, you just can't let them go cause they mean so much to you(:

randomy much

2011-01-04T23:02:00.005+08:00

i've learnt that life is tough but i am tougher(:

HEY ALL!
last week into the holidays ):
but i am still left with millions of incomplete homework ):
but the thing is i am not at all worrying or the least bothered, GOSH, what is happening?!
i know how dead i will be when school reopens but then i really got no motivation ):
sighs, shall die die complete physics tmrw :)
and the stuff that i need to do :P
and i wouldn't forget the promise of working hard together when school reopens(:
we must both fight and achieve good results kayz! :)

here are some pictures of POST-COUNTDOWN with clickies:

WE CAMWHORED

#1

group shot minus mindy and kaifan

ERNEST!

EDMUND!

FECILIA!

the rest of the pictures are all on facebook, kinda lazy to upload all :)

all right, i don't really have much content today.
tmrw shall be a stay-at-home-and-mug day
thursday is huiting's BBQ
friday is our 4th!(: specially reserved for you for us(:

all right, shall go do what i am supposed to do and turn in early :)
hope my idea works(:
GOODNIGHT PEOPLE :)

you are the sunshine to my rainy days<3

it's zee new year-2011! :)

2011-01-02T16:24:00.008+08:00

life is one big road with lots of signs. don't complicate your mind. flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. wake up and live.

it's now 2011 already! :D
seriously cannot believe how time flies.
now embarking on a brand new year; it's certainly not going to be easy and will be challenging.
i have to constantly remind myself of my priorities.
just merely thinking about school this year is just enough to freak me out :S
the stress is going to multiply, the workload is going to doubled and not forgetting my sleeping time and sacrificing my social life ):
frankly speaking, i am kinda dreading it ):
but i know, you and i will get there(:

i hoped that 2011 wouldn't be too hard for me to get by.
i hoped i have become stronger in the new year to deal with all the difficulties and problems that's gonna come my way(:
and most importantly, to be happy! :)

yesterday was my mum's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! <3

cousins :)

M SISTER! :D

TAKE #1

TAKE #2

we went to my mum's workplace to surprise her cause she had work on her birthday!
she was so shocked seeing us! :)
bet she's touched though she doesn't show it! :)
HAHA, sometimes the reactions and expressions you get from people are so priceless(:
it will just unknowingly brighten up your day! :)

COUNTDOWN WITH YOU(:

was really glad that you were there with me on the very first minute of NEW YEAR :)
our first new year together-1/1/11 XD
i hoped there's more to come!(:
so looking forward to this year with you and all the occasions and stuff that we are going to go through together :)
LESS QUARRELS AND ARGUMENTS PLS! XD HAHA
xoxo <3

don't kill me upon seeing your picture here! :)
it's a nice picture, really.
have faith in yourself! :D

sleepover @ fecilia's house after countdown with clickies.
a night filled with fun and laughter and epic moments :)
a heart-warming night indeed :D
had a crazy time camwhoring as well :)
pictures will be up soon after felicia, that lazy girl upload all the pictures.
anticipate all righttttttttttt! :)

cheerios to 2011! :)
that's it for now, my lovely readers! :)
gosh, just one last week before school reopen! :S
i wished we could all do without school ):
sighs, school's making students emo, what happened to having a happy childhood? ):
toodles!~ :>

you will always be worth it<3

good bye 2010! :D

2010-12-31T12:42:00.002+08:00

GOODBYE 2010! :D

and

don't ever let people tell you that you aren't good enough because you are
don't ever give up your dreams because you need them
don't ever compromise your morals because they make you who you are
don't ever hide your feelings because someone's willing to hear them
don't ever think you've got it all figured out because the next moment you won't
don't ever live your life in the past because then you'll miss out on the now
don't ever let people bring you down because they don't deserve to
don't ever be someone you aren't because then you'll never know who you really are
don't ever let someone tell you how you feel because it's not their right to
don't ever give up something that feels right because it probably is
don't ever worry about the petty things because they just don't matter
don't ever run away from your problems because they always find you
don't ever be afraid to take risks because they make life worth living
don't ever let someone take away your happiness because it was never theirs to take

and i want 2011 to be a better year! :D
GOD BLESS TO ALL THE GREAT PEOPLE I MET THIS YEAR AND ALL THOSE LOVELIES WHO HAD BEEN A PART OF MY LIFE :D
and you are my only exception(:
thanks for everything<3

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :)

last day of 2010! :D

2010-12-31T00:45:00.003+08:00

wanting to be someone you're not is a waste of the person you are(:

LAST OFFICIAL DAY OF 2010! :D
to all the lovely people out there; how are you guys feeling right now? :)
excited and hopeful for a brand new year i hope! :)
how time really flies;
frankly speaking, i don't have much recollection of 2010!
it seems to come and go so fast! (:
but still, am kind of anticipating a brand new year;
i can't help but think what will happen and all the occasions and events that will come once again, firstly up is chinese new year! :)
and not forgetting A'levels ):
i know i will and must survive it! :)

so lunchhhh with some awesome vball peeps yesterday!
had a hell of good time gossipping! (:
and the funny thing is, it's always about the SAME TOPIC! HAHAHA!
didn't realise how gossipy girls can get when all gather together to gossip! :)

MY DEAR LYNETTE! :D

THE LOVELY GIRLS' CREATION! :D NAISE GREEN! :)

WE ROCKS! :D

YIHAN! :D

MADELINE! :D

so we managed to catch up a while and lunched at cafe cartel! :)
and if could, i hoped we can still catch up more during huiting's BBQ on the 6th jan! :)
headed back to training at school with huiting after lunch!(:
training was hella stressful yesterday!
and causes my aching muscles now! ):

all right, i am off to get some sleep!(:
it's NEW YEAR EVE! :)
pretty much excited, first new year with you(:
looking forward to next week too, cause it's our 4th!(:
YAYNESS! :D
can't wait to see you in a few hours time!(:
toodles! :D

and i am sure i want you in my life<3

the year is ending

2010-12-27T22:03:00.005+08:00

don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened(:

there's no need to miss someone from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future(:
and i couldn't have agreed more with this quote :)

HELLO MY LOVELY READERS! :)
it had been almost a week plus since i last updated my dead blog.
procrastination and laziness i know.
so oh well, counting the days, it's only like 4 more days left to the end of 2010!
having rather mixed feelings about the upcoming new year.
fact is i am not ready for the mugging part, yes, i totally don't feel ready ):
but oh well, since i cannot stop time, i shall just pray for the best and continue to lead a fulfilling life hopefully :)

so yeah, life has rather been mudane for me.
went for class chalet and christmas celebrations with girlfs.
oh yeah, christmas had passed, but still, MERRY CHRISTMAS since christmas last for twelve days if i am not wrong :)
speaking of the chalet, it was quite a disappointment.
was so looking forward to it initially.
dullness, boredom engulfed me almost throughout the whole chalet, perhaps it was due to the unplanned activities and in-organisation.
but i understand it wasn't easy to have plan the whole chalet especially when all of us weren't being very co-operative and that not many people stayed overnight and not the full strength of the class was present.
but still, what am i expecting, when you expect too much, there's always disappointments, when will i ever learn. RAWR.
but still, i was super thankful that you were there with me throughout the whole chalet cause you just unknowingly brighten up my days(:

and so christmas celebrations with girlfs this year! :)
we dine at aston at cathay on christmas eve.
walked around and went to orchard to countdown
MAN, the people there are a high bunch, fecilia and me got sprayed by a couple of people and was forced to say merry christmas.
but i am proud of the spirit those people have cause this spirit make everything much more fun and lit up the atmosphere :)
before i forget, there was this no-way down escalator incident, it was freaking embarrassing but yet funny!
for more thorough details, refer to [http://embrace-thesummer.blogspot.com/]
we left orchard at around 12plus and miraculously, this year, the connection didn't quite lag and messages could be sent out and received quite smoothly :)
i forgotton how good it feels to receive people's blessings and wishes :)

went to fecilia's crib for sleepover.
we bought sparkling juice and tidbits to munch on.
played monopoly deal, took pictures, watch shows and just talk and laugh about any random stuff that we could think of.
and as usual, similar to a few years back, we had problem opening the bottle of sparkling juice;
bad habits never die hard :P
but still, fecilia managed to open it successfully.
i remembered how a few years back when we were celebrating christmas together;
what we had at that time was just instant noodles and sparkling juice and yet we were so contented and happy with what we have at that time.
what a weird yet memorable way to spend our christmas but we were all so happy at that time still.
and a few years after, we still can celebrate christmas together except that we don't have instant noodles with us this time.
looking back, it's amazing to see how much we have all grown, how all the friendship that were forged continues on and how glad we were to have one another(:

though celebration was a simple and not so exciting one, but it was indeed a meaningful one.
MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVELY GIRLFs! <3

specially thankful for you in 2010<3
enjoy the last few days of 2010! :D

i made a permanent reservation for you to stay in my life forever<3

lost in your eyes

2010-12-16T23:39:00.004+08:00

life is like photography;
we develop from negatives(:

HEY THERE! :)
i seems to be blogging lesser during holidays, such an irony.
oh well, life's an irony itself, isn't it? :)
anw, the holidays are passing like real fast i sweared!
it's like CHRISTMAS next week, gosh! :)
the good news is i am having a blast
the bad news is i am far from completing HALF of my work ): ):
feel so screwed like seriously, urghs! :/

to put depressing stuff aside, yesterday had been a fun day! :)
whole day with cca mates!(:
went to school early in the morning and meet michelle to do the farewell board!
CCA training in the afternoon but it rained=.=
such a spoiler cause coach was there! ):
kinda missed coach's training but he's still as funny as ever! :)
and my eyes were SWOLLEN yesterday>.<
went for dinner with cca peeps after training! :)
ate at swensens at farrer park!
supposingly to be a farewell dinner for huiting and yim qi
SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD :(
they will be leaving us next year :(
still, thankful for the memories :)

OUR GIANT EARTHQUAKE! :)

HUITING! :D

SRVB is totally love!<3

and today is another AWESOME DAY!(:
finally meet up with you after like 1234567 million years! ):
was so HAPPY that i finally can get to see you! :)
went slacking and chilling and caught a movie together.
LET ME IN! :)
the movie was sweet but with some horrifying scenes! ):
i am so glad you were right beside me(:
thanks for the gifts toooo! :D
you were so sweet and thoughtful i sweared! :)
i hate it that time with you always passed so fast! ):
i hoped we can meet up tmrw ):
but if not, it's okay cause you promised to go to the chalet with me next week!(:
HAHA, i am so thankful to have you<3

you make my life complete(:

what my eyes couldn't see

2010-12-09T23:03:00.005+08:00

you cannot be good enough for everybody but you will always be the best for those who deserves you(:

whatever you want in life,
you must give up something to get it.
the greater the value, the greater the sacrifice required of you.
everything has a price there's a price to pay if you want to make things better and a price to pay for just leaving things as they are
nothing worthwhile ever comes easily

WOAH, how inspiring.
just the right quote to set my mindset correctly for next year! :)
the mere thinking of next year just scares me so much like seriously.
i am so afraid i wouldn't make it, the one and only chance! ):
sighs.
plus i am totally not in the mood for revision and work now
and it's also into the mid december already, time is so running out ):
drats, but i just didn't have quite enough fun yet.

meet up with grace and eileen today after so long.
but eileen left a while after ):
and so caught up with each other and talk talk talk! :)
girls never get tired of talking! HAH.

eileeen! i looked short here, NAISE! :)

GRACE! :)

went changi airport with grace to chill and slack after eileen left.
ate at astons.
and the service was freaking horrible.
we waited like for more than half an hour for our food cause i think the waiters and waitress have forgotton about our orders.
like wtheck.
there's so little people in the restaurant somemore and the workers are all like slacking and iddling around.
oh crap, would never ever go back there again! :S

random shot at astons!(:

oh right, training tmrw!
it's back to school, boringggggggg! ):
i am feeling so lazy and the thought of work just make me so moodless! ):
and there's so much stuff to do for the weekend;
i hoped it's worth it to see the smile on your face(:

can't wait for this weekend
cause it's finally a short end to my waiting! :D
all right, just take some flu medicine and off to bed i go.
toodles! :)

you leave me breathless<3

CAMBODI-YEAH

2010-12-06T21:19:00.006+08:00

SUOSDAY!(:
that's hello in khmer language, guessed i am still having post cambodia syndrome!
and yeah i am back from cambodia after one week :)
there's too much stuff to pen down, so i will just summarise what i can and let pictures do the talking(:

GROUP 4!(: we are AWESOME! :D

EPIC! look at the guy! DAMM CUTE! HAHA

siewleng and amanda! :D

MY FAV KID IN WHITE! :D

AWWW, melting!

lost in my world of kids

CAMBODIA 2010, we rock! :D

GROUP 4 with our class of kids! :D

nice shot!(: thanks to hafeez

GROUP 4 FTW!

look at my fav kid! HAHA

AWWW i love him! :D

CUTE boy, siew leng's guy! :)

so as from the pictures, i had a really AWESOME TRIP!(:
living with bugs and insects, squeezing in the hot and stuffy room, eating vegetables three days in a row!
i learned and gained so much more in return.
i learnt that i should really learn to be appreciative about the things around me and not take things for granted.
i should really be thankful for every single thing around me and be contented.
looking at the cambodian people, i feel so inferior ):
though their living conditions aren't the best;
the kids are eager to learn and are hunger for success and are contented with what they have;
but yet we are the total opposite;
the people in singapore are always complaining and yearning for more material goods
what we have is never enough.
and we get troubled by stuff like feelings, relationship problems, not enough money while those people are contented if they have a roof over their head ):
and those people there they have to pay extra fees for tuition to learn to pass their examinations! ):
like what unfair system this is!
so now, i will cherish my education even more, i will work hard cause i am glad to be one of those lucky ones(:
i am thankful for all the memories though,GCE @ CAMBODIA 2010 ROCKS!
AKUN! :)
i will be a better person from now on :)

this trip has totally changed my perspective about life and my thinking.
and i am glad i went cause there's so much more meaning to my life now.
it's time to see beyond the world and grow up :)

GOSH! i can't believe it's december already!
how time really flies! ):
i haven't started on my homework, tried doing some chemistry today.
urghs i really need motivation! :)
and trying to complete affirmations for friends! :)
kinda looking forward to the new year, cause new year bring new hopes, new challenges(:
but i am not ready for A's at all ):

all right, shall stop here, what a long post.
can't wait for class chalet, christmas and new year and defintiely, spending time with you(:
one week to your return ): ):
i hoped time pass faster, at least for this week, missing you like crazy! ):
toodles! :)

cause you are all i could think about all day!<3